CORE-RELATE!
If you think that because I am a committed follower of Jesus Christ and madly, deeply, passionately in love with the Lover of my souls, I will be "spared" from any kind of physical or even emotional discomfort, think again.
I want to shoot this arrow straight to the heart of every person who's reading this: YOU are NOT immune from disappointment, discouragement, pain, hardships and trials if you become a Christian (if you're not one yet). BUT the difference would be borne out of this one thing: YOUR HEART. "Surrendering" to Jesus, contrary to popular opinion, is not a passive choice. It is an active, willful decision (heart AND mind) to put everything in the hands of a Sovereign, Omnipotent God who KNOWS all things and is NOT surprised at the choices we make.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, who can understand it?"
True, we can never fully understand "matters of the heart," simply because we are sinful beings since birth. We are "wired" to be connected to the Vine so we can "successfully" go through (and enjoy) our earthly existence. Otherwise, we rot into insignificance.
A few months ago, we transferred to a house located in Novaliches. I was "in denial" to say that it's in Quezon City (gives me the illusion of nearness) when geographically, it is in Caloocan. I used to 'live' about 15minutes (30minutes the most) from my workplace before the transfer but nowadays, I have to give at least 3 hours allowance so I can get pressureless-ly to Eastwood City.
A minute of tardiness for me these days would merit termination because I am (still) employed by the company on a 'mercy' note. I could have been sacked last month but instead of termination, they gave me "stern final warning. Talk about "pressure."
I must confess that since I entered the call centre industry, I've been angry more frequently. I tried to analyze the source and it boils down to one reason: control. To say that I am not concerned about my AHT (average handling time) is hypocrisy. I am thankful that the "anger" is confined within the corners of my workstation and that my team manager is supportive and understanding of my struggle.
(This has gone far longer than the original transcript, but anyhow, if you'd still allow me to be with you in the next few minutes, thank you. ^_^)
The moment I recognized the source of my anger, I made a conscious effort to be on guard for "warning signals." I mind my tone, the heat in my earlobes and the palpitation of my heart. I wrote words in my Notepad to help me counter this "vicious" emotion.
I put words like: "Forsake anger in favor of forgiveness," as I've learned from Charles Stanley, and verses like "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry." "Anger resides in the laps of fools." "In your anger, do not sin.."
From time to time, I am also reminded of this square sticker I see whenever I traverse the public market on the way home. Such sticker has letters big enough for a person with 150/150 myopic vision to see from afar: "WANTED:KAPAYAPAAN."
What really is KAPAYAPAAN (PEACE)?
Let's play word association and perhaps the following would come up: SILENCE. QUIETNESS. SOLITUDE. CEASEFIRE. DOWNTIME. CHILLAX. VACATION. ME-TIME. PEACE OF MIND. Perhaps you may even visualize the spectrum of DUSK and DAWN.
But how about "A heart at peace"? Have you imagined what that looks like?
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30
"A heart at peace gives LIFE to the body," because a heart at peace DOES NOT ENVY. A heart at peace is confident of its identity and it actually REJOICES with the success of others, not threatened by them.
A heart at peace is optimistic. It does not bank on a false sense of hope but on the UNSHAKABLE TRUTH of the sovereignty of a prayer-hearing, prayer-answering God who knows what's best for it.
A heart at peace isn't lonely. A person can be in the midst of friends and loved ones yet still feel lost and lonely but a heart at peace is comfortable in solitude, communing with its Maker moment by moment each day, walking by faith and not by sight.
A heart at peace knows to Whom it belongs. At the end of the day, a heart at peace may have had to deal with some discouragement and disappointment but its firm resolve drives it to continue doing what it ought to do: to supply blood and oxygen to the rest of the Body.
A heart at peace is generous with forgiveness. It chooses not to be bitter but to be gracious in defeat and humble in victory. It turns foes into allies because a heart at peace quiets itself even when it wants so much to speak up and defend itself.
A heart at peace is not afraid. It steps out of the boat and walks on water, knowing fully well that arm-in-arm with its Creator, it can never sink in the waters of failure.
A heart at peace does not grumble or complain.
A heart at peace waits. For it recognizes that God's timing is always perfect though man might think otherwise.
A heart at peace overflows with joy. It acknowledges the reality around it -- all the pain and suffering and injustice and immorality prevalent in the world -- and chooses not to wallow in them but to take action through prayer for a heart at peace knows fully well that the very reason it exists is to stay connected with the Vine.
A heart at peace is radiant with Love for it has been washed clean by the precious blood of its Lover.
A heart at peace is after the heart of God -- and is unashamed to let the world around it know. For a heart at peace, though a work in progress, knows fully well that there is NO OTHER way to live a truly purposeful, meaningful life than to stay connected with the Vine. (Haven't I already said that?)
Oh, my dear heart, are you at peace?
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
20101112
20100304
February Fusion
CORE-RELATE!
fu·sion (fyū'zhən) n.
Fortunately, God has blessed me with a spoonful of salt when it comes to fusing things (or concepts) together and make sense of everything that He allows me to be 'involved' in.
During the first Sunday of February, I had the privilege of knowing a whole new depth to the word "lost." I've learned that being Lonely, Ostracized, Seduced and Terminal is part of the reality where most people nowadays find themselves in, whether or not they're aware of it: Lost because they don't know where they're going or what their purpose in life is; Ostracized because they find themselves in an endless struggle of trying to belong; Seduced by the world's transient promises of fame, fortitude and fortune; Terminal because once they're dead, they're dead.
I was lost once and the sad thing was, I wasn't even aware of how badly I was lost. I was a relationship junkie and a 'secret' alcoholic. When I found out about my addiction, I even denied it. To my mind, I was "being normal." I thought everyone is entitled to live his or her life his or her own way, minding his or her own business like eat, drink, work, be merry, do some act of charity every now and then. I used to believe God is out there but I didn't think He really was interested in me anyway. Besides, I thought, we will all die sooner or later and that's perfectly normal.
Being normal for me back then also meant keeping some secrets to myself that gave me a dangerous kind of delight. In spite of my hidden conquests, however, a part of me was a void that no amount of vodka or relationship could fill. I was "addicted to love" but the more I had of the kind of love I knew back then, the more empty I felt. Outwardly, I seemed perfectly normal - even happier than most people - but inside, worms were eating me as a person, bit by bit.
They say Hell is paved with good intentions and like any normal human being, I fused many of my good intentions with my 'discreet' waywardness. I was, ironically, enjoying my secret path to Hell but as God sees and knows everything, He nudged me from my normalcy, spanked me and gave me options: Heaven or Hell. In His love for me, He disciplined me and enabled me to make a U-turn towards Him. In my brokenness, I saw myself as He saw me - FOR REAL - a lost soul who needed to be found and saved. In July 2004, God made me realize I needed Jesus more than anything or anyone else in my "normal" life and I just can't go on living a mediocre life, that is, a purposeless, directionless life. Today, for the past six (6) years, I've been living a different "normal" that even my closest friends couldn't comprehend - at least, not yet fully at this point. It's the kind of "normal" that is being made possible moment by moment each day only by the grace of God.
Valentine's Day this year fell on a Sunday and the single me didn't receive flowers, cards or dozens of chocolates but there was just an abundance of love that I couldn't contain. While the rest of the world celebrated "Hearts' Day," I was busy finding answers to the question "What on Earth is Going On?" Our Senior Pastor delivered God's message on 'The Source,' that is, the Bible. Such great book is the anchor of my faith and there is no disproving that it contains the promises that God has for His people. It chronicles the unsurpassed love of God for humanity and how He has extended His mercy through all generations. It also enables any Bible-believing Christian (or even any skeptic) to get to know more about who God is, who Jesus is, and even who the Holy Spirit is. Such is a three-fold mystery that can never be fully comprehended by the human mind yet it is revealed in part to those who are 'eagerly' seeking for answers.
I used to be skeptic towards signs but the more I read the Bible, the more I am convinced of the reality that The Signs of the times can't just be ignored - especially when, last January 24th, I've personally heard God's message through Joel C. Rosenberg live. Something is happening, and JESUS will come again soon. Nobody knows for sure, yet I do not doubt that it pays to be ready anytime.
That certainty was reinforced by the Sunday message last February 21, when I've learned about three major signs that show the reality of the end-times: Deception of Believers, the Destruction of Mankind and the Declaration of the Gospel. It is easy to be deceived when we don't know the object of our faith, and what God says in His Word. Fortunately, God is continually shielding me against being deceived or swayed by opening my eyes so I can understand Scripture. Unfortunately, we've also been seeing the rise and fall of many cults and organized religions all over the world. But as God enables me to see as He sees even when I am not a prophet, I do not doubt that the destruction of mankind is imminent. Take a look at the following information I gathered from USGS which lists 5 significant earthquakes, including the 7.0 in Haiti last January 12:
Coincidentally, as I go into an in-depth study on the end-times, I am also on the road to full recovery from my hurts, hang-ups and destructive habits as I attend the Glorious Hope Program. Along with these two major studies, God is also continually enlarging my borders as He enables me to have fellowship and connect with fellow Christians who work in call centers.
I am looking forward to more exciting Friday nights ahead, as (Lord-willing) I will be attending F@UR (Fridays at the Upper Room) in Eastwood City, where I had the opportunity to watch the movie "Left Behind." It further strengthened my desire to live my life the way I ought to, that is, the way God wills me to. My life is in His hands and I am looking forward to being caught up in the air with Jesus at His appointed time.
My "normalcy" is now a healthy fusion of purposeful activities all throughout the week that help me strengthen the foundation of my faith and the "proof" of the pudding: a transformed and balanced life that is characterized only by the unconditional love of Christ. I am still working on the "balance" and I admit, there are times when it's just very tempting to take off my Christianity armor and put on 'plain clothes.' However, any other clothing will do me more harm than good, making me feel naked and insecure so I choose to suit my armor of Jesus' love each day and I am continually learning to relax and rely on the Holy Spirit to fight the battles for me. Actually, JESUS CHRIST has already won the battle and what I have to deal with each day are little skirmishes that help me become - by choice - either bitter or better. Of course, I choose to be better, yet not on my own but with my Lord and Savior, the Lover of my soul. This is the "normal" I wouldn't exchange for anything else in the world - not even for a biochip.
fu·sion (fyū'zhən) n.
- The act or procedure of liquefying or melting by the application of heat.
- The liquid or melted state induced by heat.
- The merging of different elements into a union: the fusion of copper and zinc to form brass; the difficult fusion of conflicting political factions.
- A union resulting from fusing: A fusion of religion and politics emerged.
- Physics. A nuclear reaction in which nuclei combine to form more massive nuclei with the simultaneous release of energy.
- Music that blends jazz elements and the heavy repetitive rhythms of rock. Also called jazz-fusion, jazz-rock.
- A style of cooking that combines ingredients and techniques from very different cultures or countries.
Fortunately, God has blessed me with a spoonful of salt when it comes to fusing things (or concepts) together and make sense of everything that He allows me to be 'involved' in.
During the first Sunday of February, I had the privilege of knowing a whole new depth to the word "lost." I've learned that being Lonely, Ostracized, Seduced and Terminal is part of the reality where most people nowadays find themselves in, whether or not they're aware of it: Lost because they don't know where they're going or what their purpose in life is; Ostracized because they find themselves in an endless struggle of trying to belong; Seduced by the world's transient promises of fame, fortitude and fortune; Terminal because once they're dead, they're dead.
I was lost once and the sad thing was, I wasn't even aware of how badly I was lost. I was a relationship junkie and a 'secret' alcoholic. When I found out about my addiction, I even denied it. To my mind, I was "being normal." I thought everyone is entitled to live his or her life his or her own way, minding his or her own business like eat, drink, work, be merry, do some act of charity every now and then. I used to believe God is out there but I didn't think He really was interested in me anyway. Besides, I thought, we will all die sooner or later and that's perfectly normal.
Being normal for me back then also meant keeping some secrets to myself that gave me a dangerous kind of delight. In spite of my hidden conquests, however, a part of me was a void that no amount of vodka or relationship could fill. I was "addicted to love" but the more I had of the kind of love I knew back then, the more empty I felt. Outwardly, I seemed perfectly normal - even happier than most people - but inside, worms were eating me as a person, bit by bit.
They say Hell is paved with good intentions and like any normal human being, I fused many of my good intentions with my 'discreet' waywardness. I was, ironically, enjoying my secret path to Hell but as God sees and knows everything, He nudged me from my normalcy, spanked me and gave me options: Heaven or Hell. In His love for me, He disciplined me and enabled me to make a U-turn towards Him. In my brokenness, I saw myself as He saw me - FOR REAL - a lost soul who needed to be found and saved. In July 2004, God made me realize I needed Jesus more than anything or anyone else in my "normal" life and I just can't go on living a mediocre life, that is, a purposeless, directionless life. Today, for the past six (6) years, I've been living a different "normal" that even my closest friends couldn't comprehend - at least, not yet fully at this point. It's the kind of "normal" that is being made possible moment by moment each day only by the grace of God.
Valentine's Day this year fell on a Sunday and the single me didn't receive flowers, cards or dozens of chocolates but there was just an abundance of love that I couldn't contain. While the rest of the world celebrated "Hearts' Day," I was busy finding answers to the question "What on Earth is Going On?" Our Senior Pastor delivered God's message on 'The Source,' that is, the Bible. Such great book is the anchor of my faith and there is no disproving that it contains the promises that God has for His people. It chronicles the unsurpassed love of God for humanity and how He has extended His mercy through all generations. It also enables any Bible-believing Christian (or even any skeptic) to get to know more about who God is, who Jesus is, and even who the Holy Spirit is. Such is a three-fold mystery that can never be fully comprehended by the human mind yet it is revealed in part to those who are 'eagerly' seeking for answers.
I used to be skeptic towards signs but the more I read the Bible, the more I am convinced of the reality that The Signs of the times can't just be ignored - especially when, last January 24th, I've personally heard God's message through Joel C. Rosenberg live. Something is happening, and JESUS will come again soon. Nobody knows for sure, yet I do not doubt that it pays to be ready anytime.
That certainty was reinforced by the Sunday message last February 21, when I've learned about three major signs that show the reality of the end-times: Deception of Believers, the Destruction of Mankind and the Declaration of the Gospel. It is easy to be deceived when we don't know the object of our faith, and what God says in His Word. Fortunately, God is continually shielding me against being deceived or swayed by opening my eyes so I can understand Scripture. Unfortunately, we've also been seeing the rise and fall of many cults and organized religions all over the world. But as God enables me to see as He sees even when I am not a prophet, I do not doubt that the destruction of mankind is imminent. Take a look at the following information I gathered from USGS which lists 5 significant earthquakes, including the 7.0 in Haiti last January 12:
- Magnitude 8.8 OFFSHORE MAULE, CHILE February 27, 2010
- Magnitude 7.0 RYUKYU ISLANDS, JAPAN February 26, 2010
- Magnitude 6.9 CHINA-RUSSIA-NORTH KOREA BORDER REGION February 18, 2010
- Magnitude 5.9 OFFSHORE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA February 04, 2010
- Magnitude 7.0 HAITI REGION January 12, 2010
Coincidentally, as I go into an in-depth study on the end-times, I am also on the road to full recovery from my hurts, hang-ups and destructive habits as I attend the Glorious Hope Program. Along with these two major studies, God is also continually enlarging my borders as He enables me to have fellowship and connect with fellow Christians who work in call centers.
I am looking forward to more exciting Friday nights ahead, as (Lord-willing) I will be attending F@UR (Fridays at the Upper Room) in Eastwood City, where I had the opportunity to watch the movie "Left Behind." It further strengthened my desire to live my life the way I ought to, that is, the way God wills me to. My life is in His hands and I am looking forward to being caught up in the air with Jesus at His appointed time.
My "normalcy" is now a healthy fusion of purposeful activities all throughout the week that help me strengthen the foundation of my faith and the "proof" of the pudding: a transformed and balanced life that is characterized only by the unconditional love of Christ. I am still working on the "balance" and I admit, there are times when it's just very tempting to take off my Christianity armor and put on 'plain clothes.' However, any other clothing will do me more harm than good, making me feel naked and insecure so I choose to suit my armor of Jesus' love each day and I am continually learning to relax and rely on the Holy Spirit to fight the battles for me. Actually, JESUS CHRIST has already won the battle and what I have to deal with each day are little skirmishes that help me become - by choice - either bitter or better. Of course, I choose to be better, yet not on my own but with my Lord and Savior, the Lover of my soul. This is the "normal" I wouldn't exchange for anything else in the world - not even for a biochip.
20081026
Queer Eye for the Gay Straight
CORE-RELATE!
A few hours ago, I had the privilege of joining my D-group (discipleship group) in visiting an event organized by our church's Living Free Ministry. The event, "Taking the Straight Journey," was a retreat for people with homosexual tendencies. I was truly blessed by the good number of gay and lesbian people who went to the retreat. Whatever reason they had for joining, I just knew in my heart that such an event was a milestone for humble souls.
Let me make it clear that I am not "anti-gay" or "anti-lesbianism," but I DO NOT condone the indiscretions that bespeak of homosexuality. I think that most of you will agree with me that even if not all same-sex relationships are of the sexual kind, most of them are interlaced with sexual practices that are "beyond normal."
You might say, hey wake up, its 2008 and things have changed. Same-sex marriage (and divorce) is already a widely-exercised legal privilege in California and only God knows which states (or countries) will follow suit.
Yeah, you're right. Things have changed. Global warming is a continuing issue that's as hot as the next celebrity who's "coming out of the closet." Even "tough guys" wear pink nowadays and it's really to one's own disadvantage if he doesn't know how to think out of the box.
"Out of the box." Inasmuch as we can't put God inside a box when we pray, we also cannot think "out of the box," when it comes to obeying His commandments. Sin is a sin when it comes to God and even if He isn't a cosmic kill-joy nor legalistic, He makes it very clear that He "disciplines those he loves." (Proverbs 3:12) And God's design for sex or copulation is between a male and a female.
As I grow deeper in my faith walk, knowing more about God, His nature, His love and His promises, I learn to appreciate the Ten Commandments more. It seems much easier nowadays to consider that they aren't really so difficult to follow. Of course, I still have the tendency to sin but obeying God's commands now is more exciting and much doable for me because I know that the "rod of correction," is actually a blessing in disguise if I ever give in to sin. But, of course, I choose to avoid sin at all costs, knowing that God's discipline (although borne out of His love), is something not to be taken lightly. The penalty for sin is death and the salvation of one's soul is a free gift that doesn't come cheap because innocent Life has been shed for it.
I am honored - blessed - to see transformed people in the retreat, knowing that not only have they chosen the "road less-traveled," but they are also sharing the kind of peace and satisfaction that they received when they came to know -- and accepted -- their own sinfulness and surrendered their lives to the lordship of Jesus Christ. Sure, they may be a little more in touch with their hearts than your "average joe," or may be a little tougher than the "next-door girl," but as they have decided to "take the straight journey" of living a purposeful, Christ-centered life, they are now living their lives, not being the kind of gay that most people in this world perceive, but a human being who's gay in the Lord because he has Jesus in his heart, looking forward to a promising future that God has planned for His children.
A few hours ago, I had the privilege of joining my D-group (discipleship group) in visiting an event organized by our church's Living Free Ministry. The event, "Taking the Straight Journey," was a retreat for people with homosexual tendencies. I was truly blessed by the good number of gay and lesbian people who went to the retreat. Whatever reason they had for joining, I just knew in my heart that such an event was a milestone for humble souls.
Let me make it clear that I am not "anti-gay" or "anti-lesbianism," but I DO NOT condone the indiscretions that bespeak of homosexuality. I think that most of you will agree with me that even if not all same-sex relationships are of the sexual kind, most of them are interlaced with sexual practices that are "beyond normal."
You might say, hey wake up, its 2008 and things have changed. Same-sex marriage (and divorce) is already a widely-exercised legal privilege in California and only God knows which states (or countries) will follow suit.
Yeah, you're right. Things have changed. Global warming is a continuing issue that's as hot as the next celebrity who's "coming out of the closet." Even "tough guys" wear pink nowadays and it's really to one's own disadvantage if he doesn't know how to think out of the box.
"Out of the box." Inasmuch as we can't put God inside a box when we pray, we also cannot think "out of the box," when it comes to obeying His commandments. Sin is a sin when it comes to God and even if He isn't a cosmic kill-joy nor legalistic, He makes it very clear that He "disciplines those he loves." (Proverbs 3:12) And God's design for sex or copulation is between a male and a female.
As I grow deeper in my faith walk, knowing more about God, His nature, His love and His promises, I learn to appreciate the Ten Commandments more. It seems much easier nowadays to consider that they aren't really so difficult to follow. Of course, I still have the tendency to sin but obeying God's commands now is more exciting and much doable for me because I know that the "rod of correction," is actually a blessing in disguise if I ever give in to sin. But, of course, I choose to avoid sin at all costs, knowing that God's discipline (although borne out of His love), is something not to be taken lightly. The penalty for sin is death and the salvation of one's soul is a free gift that doesn't come cheap because innocent Life has been shed for it.
I am honored - blessed - to see transformed people in the retreat, knowing that not only have they chosen the "road less-traveled," but they are also sharing the kind of peace and satisfaction that they received when they came to know -- and accepted -- their own sinfulness and surrendered their lives to the lordship of Jesus Christ. Sure, they may be a little more in touch with their hearts than your "average joe," or may be a little tougher than the "next-door girl," but as they have decided to "take the straight journey" of living a purposeful, Christ-centered life, they are now living their lives, not being the kind of gay that most people in this world perceive, but a human being who's gay in the Lord because he has Jesus in his heart, looking forward to a promising future that God has planned for His children.
"Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." -- Hebrews 12:9-11
Now here's a question you may want to 'research' on: "Can a person who calls himself a Christian remain homosexual?" You may be surprised to find that the answer, the Truth, has been there all along.
20080407
some more.
CORE-RELATE!
God has a plan, a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful plan and part of that plan, could be something like a comedy where a princess of paupers and a prince who is heir apparent to a vast kingdom will become friends. Friends muna. I don't want to jump the gun, kayo talaga.
Oh well, anyway. Do you believe that God has a sense of humor? I do. I was in a huge traffic a couple of nights ago and the bumper sticker on the car in front of the jeepney I was in read: LORD, GIVE ME PATIENCE RIGHT NOW. Whadayaknow, I just can't help but smile -- and be patient -- the rest of my trip to work!
Then, yesterday, Sunday, I wanted to attend the 12nn worship session but when I woke up around 10:30am, my eyes couldn't open. I adjusted the alarm to 4:30pm so I can attend the 6pm slot.
I usually wear either pants or my uniform to the 6pm service because I go straight to work in the graveyard shift (10pm-6am). For some unknown reason, I didn't feel like wearing pants nor my uniform to church last night. Since last May 2007 when I started regular church attendance, I have never ever worn a dress to church. Mm-hmm.
God must be really up to something so He made the feeling-pretty-in-dress me use the elevator instead of the escalator. To my surprise, while I was traipsing my way to the worship hall, I saw Shrek handing out newsletters at the landing floor of the e-s-c-a-l-a-t-o-r!! Did he see me? Probably not but the romantic, daydreamy me would like to believe that he did. Yeah, wishful thinking but hey, I think it's pretty cool to do that once in a while.
A big 'What if?' formed inside my thought bubble... "What if I used the escalator?!" The picture would've turned into slow-mo... Shrek handing out the newsletter; silly, dorky me reaching for it... and... and tripping on the last step!! Ngek! Then he'd catch me in those triathletic arms and the first and last conversation we'll ever had would be composed of... "Oops..." "Gotcha!" "Sorry..." and "Thank you." Hilarious -- and downright embarrassing.
Will somebody please hand me smileys around here? I feel like a smile has been plastered on my face the whole night and even while I'm tinkering with the keyboard, geewhiz, I have this ridiculous grin on that says "ROTFL." You think I am in love? If I didn't know any better, I'd say I am!
Seriously... God answers prayers, this I believe in all my heart. I don't care about the past. TODAY is all that matters. I am a child of God and my future is in His hands. I know that He has laid-out the BEST for me tomorrow and in the days to come. If it is His will, He will send Shrek towards me, in His time, in His way. If not, well, I'd still thank God that He has made me see that there is at least one person who fits my 'list.'
I need a stretcher down here. I think I'm going to have a heart attack!
If I didn't know any better, I'd say I am in love. Have I just said that? Really. How can you love someone you barely know? Romantic love won't apply and the type of love there is to share is the kind of love that Jesus wants us to share with everyone: pure, unselfish and sacrificial love. With this I am reminded to think of Shrek as a brother -- ok, older brother -- and respect the fact that he is being prepared by God for someone. That someone may or may not be me so I shouldn't dwell so much on him. I should, instead, "fix my eyes on JESUS, the author and perfecter of my faith..." (Hebrews 12:2)
TRUE LOVE WAITS, WORKS, WAITS, WORKS and WAITS SOME MORE.
20080321
An Easter Story
CORE-RELATE!
I was in a quandary how I could possibly tell a story on the essence of Easter without mentioning the name of Jesus. Imagine that! Initially, I couldn't think of Easter without thinking of Christ's resurrection. Well, since Easter is actually a pagan ritual, I took it as a challenge. I was ready to give up my hosting job but thanks to my youngest sister Maii, she suggested a story inspired by the movie, "Charlotte's Web." My boss just liked the story, he said, with my permission, he will let another talent use it for an Easter program hosted by one of his greatest talents in one of the fine malls in the city. And I pray he'll also find it in his heart to give me some kind of bonus for it. Anyway, here's the story:
Setting: a farmhouse
Characters:
Easter Bunny: Happy Bunny; new to the farmhouse; outcast
Chicken: only friend of easter bunny; also an outcast
Mouse: the spy
Other animals: Goat, Cow, Pig
One day, the animals in the farmhouse, named Goat, Cow and Pig were having a great time. Easter Bunny happily hops in and says “Hello” to everybody.
Bunny: Hop, hop. Hello, everybody! I’m Easter Bunny. I am new here. Can we be friends?
But the animals just looked at him and went on playing.
Bunny: Oh, alright. Have fun then. Hop, hop.
Then he hops and hops then saw Chicken in one corner. He hopped to where Chicken was and introduced himself.
Bunny: Hi, you must be Chicken?
Chicken: Yeah, you must be Bunny. Cuckoo.
Bunny: Right, but I’m not just a bunny. I’m an Easter Bunny.
Chicken: OK, can I call you Easter then?
Bunny: Sure! I hope you don’t you mind if I call you Chix?
Chicken: Not at all!
So Chicken and Bunny became friends. Bunny hops, Chicken cuckoos, and they enjoy their time in that one little corner of the farmhouse.
One Saturday night, Bunny was taking care of Chicken because Chicken was having a hard time laying her eggs. Both Chicken & Bunny fell asleep.
The next day, Easter morning, bunny woke up early & he cannot believe what he saw: ONE GLEAMING, COLORFUL EASTER EGG! Bunny started hopping around the corner and woke Chicken up.
Bunny: Wake up, Chicken, wake up!
When she saw her egg, Chicken became sad and said, “Oh, no, my egg looks awful! Please, Easter, don’t tell anyone.”
Bunny said, “Are you kidding me? That is an Easter egg, Chicken! It’s like treasure! People hunt for Easter eggs on Easter Sunday!”
Chicken asked, “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Nobody in the farm took care of me before. Thank you for telling me that, Bunny, my friend. Now I know why my masters gather my best eggs during Easter.”
Bunny and Chicken didn’t know that while they were talking Mouse was listening. When Mouse heard all those, he ran to the other animals.
Mouse: Hey, they’re talking about Easter. What does that mean?
Goat: Meee-mee… beats me. They’re really weird. They shouldn’t really be here.
Cow: Moo, Moo...Yeah, what’s Easter? I thought that’s only for fat pigs.
Pig: Hang on! oink-oink. I know what Easter’s all about. Chicken’s special, my friends. Easter is all about friendship, family, fun and treasures. oink-oink. Some people say it’s a time to ask for a bountiful harvest that’s why they need, oink-oink, fat pigs and big vegetables and eggs and bunnies on that day. Some people say Somebody came back from the dead on Easter. But whatever today means for them, oink, oink, why don’t we all be friends with Bunny and Chicken and just be happy! After all, we all live in the same farmhouse, don’t we?
All the animals say "Yeah!" in their own sounds and join Chicken and Bunny in the corner and greets everyone HAPPY EASTER!!!
20080221
a Valentine's invite.
CORE-RELATE!
"February 14, 2008.
Why am I late?
I could give you a thousand and one reasons why but it will all boil down to one reason and one reason alone: because I am.
I used to think that time is in my hands. No matter what I do with my time is all up to me. It doesn't matter what I did, as long as I was happy, time will just pass by quickly.
But I've discovered that the measure of time and happiness is totally different when defined in terms of my own, selfish, 'worldly,' human thinking as compared to how God wants me to measure them.
I have learned that I cannot make up for all the lost times I've spent doing things my way to instead of His way. But because God loves me, He showed me what it truly means to be happy; He showed me what it truly means to be in the dark; He showed me what it means to be lost and not know it.
I used to be "in the dark" not knowing what my purpose was, not knowing what REAL LOVE was and I thought that as a growing Christian I should get out - resign - from the casino. As early as July 2007, I've already drawn up my resignation letter. I used to think that Pagcor is no place for a follower of Christ to be in. But why am I still here?
God's timing is not my timing. God's purpose is not my purpose. Knowing God and experiencing God are two different things. And I have learned that it is only when I LET GO of my biases, my selfishness, my pride, I that I can understand God's love and share it.
I have a lot of stories to tell about what has God done in my heart and in my life and how He has helped me see my job in Pagcor on a totally different light. But I won't tell you about them right now because I believe this day isn't about me or my life but all about Him...all about Him.
God has a reason for everything.
I was late yesterday. I didn't do it in purpose and I believe it is God's will for me to tell you these things right here, right now:
GOD LOVES US and HE wants us to take the blindfolds off our eyes and see the deeper reasons why we work, why we are here. He wants us to take the earplugs off the ears of our hearts and hear His voice calling us to LET GO of ourselves and just LET HIS LOVE IN.
It is my honor and privilege to be commissioned to send you this invitation today, Valentine's Day. Why me? Only God knows and I have learned, too, that the last question that I should ever ask God is WHY. I just have to LET GO."
LETTING GO - Gary Valenciano
I was not supposed to feel that way
I had everything I needed
But nothing ever made me
What I longed to be
The wealth, the name
The lights, the fame
Were everything to me
Out of the blue
I heard His name (Jesus)
And so I took that step of faith
And walked into His domain
I believe that's what He wants
Every heart to do
One step is all He asks of you
Is not so hard to do
It's the heart that's got the will
To open up for Him to fill
And trusting and believing Him
Is all we've got to do
It's just the heart that's got to move
For Him to show His love that's been there
Even when we never cared
Take hold of His hand
Let go and you'll understand
For God knows what you're feeling
But even He can't do a thing
If He sees the heart's not willing
And so we ask what's going on
We want what's right and still do wrong
One step is all He asks of you
You can't be on your own
And all your cares
And all your burdens
Should be cast upon His throne
Letting go, just let go
Is not so hard to do
It's the heart that's got the will
To open up for Him to fill
And trusting and believing Him
Is all we've got to do
It's just the heart that's got to move
For Him to show His love that's been there
Even when we never cared
Take hold of His hand
Let go and you'll understand
Just let go and you'll understand
20080209
a Kapuso's bottomline
CORE-RELATE!
I grew up tuned in to GMA 7 every Sunday to 'Ate Helen' and 'Kuya Germs' in 'Lovingly Yours' and 'Supershow,' respectively. When I'm done with my school projects, weeknights found me watching 'That's Entertainment.' I've learned from informative segments in Cheche Lazaro's 'The Probe Team' and I've witnessed Jessica Soho's daunting field reports. I watched Tony Lozano, Frankie Evangelista and Tina Monzon-Palma deliver the evening news. When Mr. Evangelista, Ms. Palma and even Ms. Lazaro transferred to a different channel, I stayed with Channel 7. During the brownout years, I listened to DZBB. For some unknown reason, I was just comfortable with the network and throughout these years, my faith and confidence in Channel 7's credibility has never waned.
And last night, February 8, 2008, I had the rare honor to be part of the 'commissioned' dealers to my favorite network's Thanksgiving Party at the NBC Tent.
In spite of my 'numbered' days in the casino, the event gave me a sense of revitalized pride to be a casino dealer. I've been in this job for almost eight years and it is last night, ONLY last night, that I have been able to say with conviction "Wow, it feels GREAT to be a dealer."
The monotony of the workplace can really grow on you but going out to a special event to perform one's rather mundane duty uplifts the spirit. It helps you realize what it means to be thankful for what has been given you.
It is my privilege to have served as a dealer -- at least to entertain the guests and teach them how the games were played. It is my prayer, however, that those who were able to 'learn' will have enough self-control not to indulge the human being's 'basic' greed.
I used to ask myself, how can a growing Christian like me glorify God with a job that's instrumental to increased liabilities, strained relationships, failed marriages, broken homes, sub-par school marks, and even the crimes of passion and anything that is grounded on dishonesty? My job is privy to the lure of the world's deceptive pleasures and when I take a good look at it, it's obviously not the job that is 'centered' on God's will.
Should I be thankful thinking that at least one soul is going wayward, being lost, because it has succumbed to greed? Should I be happy knowing that at least one person is miserable because he is heavily indebted, thanks to his heavy stakes at the losing end? Should I be content knowing that there is just so much corruption in the hearts of men -- people thriving on other people's money and misery? These are but painful realities that I've pondered on for years.
But what exactly is God's will? No human being can fully understand God's reason for everything. My heart is saying, I don't want to grow old in the casino and yes, this is not the job I would want to be doing for the rest of my life. I want to be doing "something else."
But then again... what IS God's will?
Being able to deal - to work - while playing and having fun has given me a queer sense of fulfillment and thankfulness for the 'duty' that has been entrusted to me. It made me discover that as long as it feels like you're just playing, as long as you're having fun doing what you do, time will seem to swiftly pass by. There were house rules, I played by them and I still had lots of 'clean' fun serving the guests.
I was given a tip for 100 points but I had to return it because it was for the guests to accumulate to exchange for raffle tickets. The gesture, however, was more than enough for me to know that my service was appreciated. My heart was full when I left the NBC Tent.
Will there be more dealing days as fulfilling as that for me? I know that whatever is God's will, will happen and I am here to simply obey. For now, I'll just be continually grateful that He gave me this job and be constantly mindful that one way of expressing gratitude to the people who has helped me be where I am now is to heartfully and diligently perform the job that I am 'commissioned' to do and just enjoy it while I'm at it. More to that, I know in my heart that God has called me for "something else," to remain where I am and to faithfully obey Him and patiently wait on His perfect timing to take me out... as He so wills it.
Ancore! Paredes po. Proud to be Kapuso!
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men," Colossians 3:23. This is the bottomline.
I grew up tuned in to GMA 7 every Sunday to 'Ate Helen' and 'Kuya Germs' in 'Lovingly Yours' and 'Supershow,' respectively. When I'm done with my school projects, weeknights found me watching 'That's Entertainment.' I've learned from informative segments in Cheche Lazaro's 'The Probe Team' and I've witnessed Jessica Soho's daunting field reports. I watched Tony Lozano, Frankie Evangelista and Tina Monzon-Palma deliver the evening news. When Mr. Evangelista, Ms. Palma and even Ms. Lazaro transferred to a different channel, I stayed with Channel 7. During the brownout years, I listened to DZBB. For some unknown reason, I was just comfortable with the network and throughout these years, my faith and confidence in Channel 7's credibility has never waned.
And last night, February 8, 2008, I had the rare honor to be part of the 'commissioned' dealers to my favorite network's Thanksgiving Party at the NBC Tent.
In spite of my 'numbered' days in the casino, the event gave me a sense of revitalized pride to be a casino dealer. I've been in this job for almost eight years and it is last night, ONLY last night, that I have been able to say with conviction "Wow, it feels GREAT to be a dealer."
The monotony of the workplace can really grow on you but going out to a special event to perform one's rather mundane duty uplifts the spirit. It helps you realize what it means to be thankful for what has been given you.
It is my privilege to have served as a dealer -- at least to entertain the guests and teach them how the games were played. It is my prayer, however, that those who were able to 'learn' will have enough self-control not to indulge the human being's 'basic' greed.
I used to ask myself, how can a growing Christian like me glorify God with a job that's instrumental to increased liabilities, strained relationships, failed marriages, broken homes, sub-par school marks, and even the crimes of passion and anything that is grounded on dishonesty? My job is privy to the lure of the world's deceptive pleasures and when I take a good look at it, it's obviously not the job that is 'centered' on God's will.
Should I be thankful thinking that at least one soul is going wayward, being lost, because it has succumbed to greed? Should I be happy knowing that at least one person is miserable because he is heavily indebted, thanks to his heavy stakes at the losing end? Should I be content knowing that there is just so much corruption in the hearts of men -- people thriving on other people's money and misery? These are but painful realities that I've pondered on for years.
But what exactly is God's will? No human being can fully understand God's reason for everything. My heart is saying, I don't want to grow old in the casino and yes, this is not the job I would want to be doing for the rest of my life. I want to be doing "something else."
But then again... what IS God's will?
Being able to deal - to work - while playing and having fun has given me a queer sense of fulfillment and thankfulness for the 'duty' that has been entrusted to me. It made me discover that as long as it feels like you're just playing, as long as you're having fun doing what you do, time will seem to swiftly pass by. There were house rules, I played by them and I still had lots of 'clean' fun serving the guests.
I was given a tip for 100 points but I had to return it because it was for the guests to accumulate to exchange for raffle tickets. The gesture, however, was more than enough for me to know that my service was appreciated. My heart was full when I left the NBC Tent.
Will there be more dealing days as fulfilling as that for me? I know that whatever is God's will, will happen and I am here to simply obey. For now, I'll just be continually grateful that He gave me this job and be constantly mindful that one way of expressing gratitude to the people who has helped me be where I am now is to heartfully and diligently perform the job that I am 'commissioned' to do and just enjoy it while I'm at it. More to that, I know in my heart that God has called me for "something else," to remain where I am and to faithfully obey Him and patiently wait on His perfect timing to take me out... as He so wills it.
Ancore! Paredes po. Proud to be Kapuso!
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men," Colossians 3:23. This is the bottomline.
20071009
To Be.
CORE-RELATE!It will come.
The day will come when everything will be just perfect, when I couldn't ask for anything more and just be in abundance.
The day will come when my 'problem' will be how to give away all the blessings that I have, and whom to bestow them upon.
I am privileged to be gifted with the gift of faith. I have it in my heart to give away, however hard it is to grasp for most people.
I am here to uplift, encourage, and sow seeds of happiness in others; make them feel good about themselves and see what they can be thankful for.
I am here to share the wisdom that is to be seen in loving others unconditionally, even the unlovable.
I am here to just follow God's will by being attuned to it daily through prayer and Bible-reading.
I am here... to be the BEST person that He has designed me to be; to excel in whatever tasks He gives me, no matter how menial or unnecessary it would seem for some, including myself.
I am here to 'be' and to be thankful for everything and be happy... because God made me and has given me the power, the liberty to be just...me. So I choose...to just be.
"To be or not to be: that is the question." --Shakespeare
The day will come when everything will be just perfect, when I couldn't ask for anything more and just be in abundance.
The day will come when my 'problem' will be how to give away all the blessings that I have, and whom to bestow them upon.
I am privileged to be gifted with the gift of faith. I have it in my heart to give away, however hard it is to grasp for most people.
I am here to uplift, encourage, and sow seeds of happiness in others; make them feel good about themselves and see what they can be thankful for.
I am here to share the wisdom that is to be seen in loving others unconditionally, even the unlovable.
I am here to just follow God's will by being attuned to it daily through prayer and Bible-reading.
I am here... to be the BEST person that He has designed me to be; to excel in whatever tasks He gives me, no matter how menial or unnecessary it would seem for some, including myself.
I am here to 'be' and to be thankful for everything and be happy... because God made me and has given me the power, the liberty to be just...me. So I choose...to just be.
"To be or not to be: that is the question." --Shakespeare
20070815
Let JESUS take the wheel
CORE-RELATE!
Licensed or not, pro or non-pro, we are all drivers in our own ways, trying to travel on the road where the exact destination is somewhere somebody hasn't really been to yet. I thought I'll be able to learn how to drive a car (a real, live car) during my 150-day hiatus. I'm scheduled to go back to work on the 21st of October and I haven't really learned to drive a car yet. The bonus though is, well, I'm somehow getting to be well-versed in using the clutch-break approach to life, knowing fully well that as I am God's work-in-progress, so too are the people I love. And I guess more to learning how to drive in the circuit track (yup, circuit racing is in my to-do list!), I have to master the basics of driving first if I want to enter the race.
So for now, the only race I'm running in is the marathon of life, soldiering on with my feet "fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." (Ephesians 6:15). Most of the time though, I prefer to be in the passenger seat of Jesus' car, letting Him drive me to wherever He pleases. It's more than just a joy ride, really and perhaps, you also might want to check Him out and sing:
"Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel"
Music Codesby SongArea.com
Licensed or not, pro or non-pro, we are all drivers in our own ways, trying to travel on the road where the exact destination is somewhere somebody hasn't really been to yet. I thought I'll be able to learn how to drive a car (a real, live car) during my 150-day hiatus. I'm scheduled to go back to work on the 21st of October and I haven't really learned to drive a car yet. The bonus though is, well, I'm somehow getting to be well-versed in using the clutch-break approach to life, knowing fully well that as I am God's work-in-progress, so too are the people I love. And I guess more to learning how to drive in the circuit track (yup, circuit racing is in my to-do list!), I have to master the basics of driving first if I want to enter the race.
So for now, the only race I'm running in is the marathon of life, soldiering on with my feet "fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." (Ephesians 6:15). Most of the time though, I prefer to be in the passenger seat of Jesus' car, letting Him drive me to wherever He pleases. It's more than just a joy ride, really and perhaps, you also might want to check Him out and sing:
"Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel"
20070718
strong, loving arms
CORE-RELATE!
It is by grace that I am alive today and happily creating my world of peace, thankfulness, joy and love.
God's strong, loving arms has always comforted me through every down time. And even in my triumphant moments, His strong, loving arms have never failed to assure me of still more better things to come.
I am not saying that I've stopped waiting. I'm only saying that I've, once and for all, decided today to just LET GO and focus on the things that I should be doing while waiting.
God is good. All the time. And His timing is perfect, His Plan is the best, His reason unquestionable.
It is by grace that I am alive today and happily creating my world of peace, thankfulness, joy and love.
God's strong, loving arms has always comforted me through every down time. And even in my triumphant moments, His strong, loving arms have never failed to assure me of still more better things to come.
I am not saying that I've stopped waiting. I'm only saying that I've, once and for all, decided today to just LET GO and focus on the things that I should be doing while waiting.
God is good. All the time. And His timing is perfect, His Plan is the best, His reason unquestionable.
20070212
aimless what?
CORE-RELATE!
I vaguely remember why I entitled my previous post as "aimless wanderings." Not that i don't have any goal and am just jabbing here and there without any clear target. Something just tells me I should have given it a different title. But then again, so be it.
February 2-10 was a very busy week. I had classes from 2:00 til 8:30 and took comprehension quizzes everyday. I did quite well, with a 95, 2 perfect scores, 3 98's and a 93. Saturday, Feb 10, was the highlight. I went to Naic, Cavite for the assessment on basic fire fighting, search and rescue and personal survival. I had to don a 10-pound breathing apparatus, wear an immersion suit which made anyone look like "dugong," extinguish 3 types of fire, rescue a missing victim from the underground, float without life jacket for one minute, jump from a 14-feet platform feet first into the water, huddle with groupmates, ask for help and board a liferaft only to tumble back down again into the water. Whew! Thanks to my practice floating session last Thursday morning, I passed the 1-minute float! I wouldn't have made it without my mother monitoring my time. Thank God for Mama. =)
Our batch finished earlier than expected and what's really, really cool about it is, nobody has to come back for re-take. Everybody made it! Thanks to the site assessors who, in spite of their intimidating suits, were accommodating and considerate enough of our performances. They made our lives easier.
The next step would be to get my SIRB (Seaman's Identification and Record Book) aka, Seaman's Book, from Marina after I've claimed my certificate from the school. Thence I'll have to get stamped by TESDA-NAC with a competency thingamajig. So it isn't enough that I completed the course, I have to be competent enough.
Hmm. In matters of spirituality, I still have a long, long way to go. The "training" is a daily thing and my comprehension quizzes are faring just about average... and sometimes I even fail on purpose, stubborn me. I don't think I have achieved anything big yet that would merit me a competency badge. In fact I think I'm the worst struggling Christian there is. If there's anything I'm proud of in being a Christian, it will just be... loving unconditionally. It has its fair share of pluses and minuses but, well, I'd rather have it than nothing at all.
I vaguely remember why I entitled my previous post as "aimless wanderings." Not that i don't have any goal and am just jabbing here and there without any clear target. Something just tells me I should have given it a different title. But then again, so be it.
February 2-10 was a very busy week. I had classes from 2:00 til 8:30 and took comprehension quizzes everyday. I did quite well, with a 95, 2 perfect scores, 3 98's and a 93. Saturday, Feb 10, was the highlight. I went to Naic, Cavite for the assessment on basic fire fighting, search and rescue and personal survival. I had to don a 10-pound breathing apparatus, wear an immersion suit which made anyone look like "dugong," extinguish 3 types of fire, rescue a missing victim from the underground, float without life jacket for one minute, jump from a 14-feet platform feet first into the water, huddle with groupmates, ask for help and board a liferaft only to tumble back down again into the water. Whew! Thanks to my practice floating session last Thursday morning, I passed the 1-minute float! I wouldn't have made it without my mother monitoring my time. Thank God for Mama. =)
Our batch finished earlier than expected and what's really, really cool about it is, nobody has to come back for re-take. Everybody made it! Thanks to the site assessors who, in spite of their intimidating suits, were accommodating and considerate enough of our performances. They made our lives easier.
The next step would be to get my SIRB (Seaman's Identification and Record Book) aka, Seaman's Book, from Marina after I've claimed my certificate from the school. Thence I'll have to get stamped by TESDA-NAC with a competency thingamajig. So it isn't enough that I completed the course, I have to be competent enough.
Hmm. In matters of spirituality, I still have a long, long way to go. The "training" is a daily thing and my comprehension quizzes are faring just about average... and sometimes I even fail on purpose, stubborn me. I don't think I have achieved anything big yet that would merit me a competency badge. In fact I think I'm the worst struggling Christian there is. If there's anything I'm proud of in being a Christian, it will just be... loving unconditionally. It has its fair share of pluses and minuses but, well, I'd rather have it than nothing at all.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13), NIV.
20070207
aimless wanderings...
CORE-RELATE!
You have a goal. You firmly believe you can attain it. But you will have to sacrifice a lot of the things that you want.
The opportunities are vast and you know you cannot be assured of anything -- yet. Still, you plunge... knowing that in time, you will reap what you have sown. Experience has taught you that oftentimes, yes, love is reason enough. As Blaise Pascal has put it, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."
So you go through the journey, day-by-day, each waking moment optimistic that today will be better. Yesterday's mishaps are today's springboards. And today's success isn't the only sofa for tomorrow.
The clock is ticking yet you're biding your time. You have a plan. And God has one for you, too.
Now you question yourself: which one are you following? You don't really know; you just cannot tell.
God knows your heart. And that's what matters most.
You have a goal. You firmly believe you can attain it. But you will have to sacrifice a lot of the things that you want.
The opportunities are vast and you know you cannot be assured of anything -- yet. Still, you plunge... knowing that in time, you will reap what you have sown. Experience has taught you that oftentimes, yes, love is reason enough. As Blaise Pascal has put it, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."
So you go through the journey, day-by-day, each waking moment optimistic that today will be better. Yesterday's mishaps are today's springboards. And today's success isn't the only sofa for tomorrow.
The clock is ticking yet you're biding your time. You have a plan. And God has one for you, too.
Now you question yourself: which one are you following? You don't really know; you just cannot tell.
God knows your heart. And that's what matters most.
20060913
On A High with JC's Sweet Love
CORE-RELATE!
"To believe in God for me is to feel that there is a God, not a dead one, or a stuffed one, but a living one, who with irresistible force urges us towards more loving." - Vincent van Gogh
Love, love, love. Who doesn't want it? Even the devil wants it -- badly (in the ugliest sense of the word). The devil is very clever, he could make us believe that what we have is love -- even when, in all aspects, we're just coveting, craving, lusting and treading in the bad -- make that wrong -- direction.
I used to think my 5-year relationship was love in all its against-all-odds, passionate kiss-and-make-up-splendor. After the break-up two years ago, I've learned there is no such thing as "a wrong kind of love." Either you're in love or not, and that's just that.
So how do we know if it's TRUE LOVE?
For starters, there's John 3:16 which speaks of God's love for us.
Sometimes, when faced with difficulties and seemingly endless problems to be solved, we dare question whether God really loves us and in the process we fail to see -- and understand -- the significance of the Cross. Who on earth would give up his child as ransom for someone else's crime? In one time or another, we may even have asked, "Where's the logic in that?"
God has His reasons, God has His plans and we can never ever fully grasp His wisdom. As Gandhi has so aptly put it: "No one has the capacity to judge God. We are drops in that limitless ocean of mercy." God sent His ONLY son, Jesus Christ (JC), as ransom for our crimes of selfishness, lust, envy, materialism, greed, sloth, dishonesty, murder, et cetera, simply because HE LOOOOVES us! Be that as it may, JC was crucified, rose after three days, and lived to reign with His Father, The King of all Kings. JC lives! He is very much alive today that anytime we feel like asking Him, He would gladly accompany us in our journey towards our reunion with The Father.
"Reunion" here, by the way, is not death which so many of us wouldn't want to happen -- at least not now, right? Relax. The reunion I'm referring to here is a "charmed" life in God's loving hands. There is LIFE in God's love, if only we ask JC to be our guide, if only we ask JC to help us through. The bridge to a healthy, loving relationship with Our Father may be in the so-called "road less-travelled" but I'm telling you, it's worth all the pain. I am reminded of an SMS I've received just this morning : "In dis lyf, 8s hard 2 find a relationshp which wudn't hurt u. So go 4 d 1 w/c makes all the pain worth it."
Since the day I've rededicated my life to be JC's girl, life just didn't become all peace and sweetness and charm in one night, nope! I still struggle everyday. But everytime I turn out the lights before I sleep, I know loving Him is all worth it. Because I know, I BELIEVE, that as I grow in my relationship with Him, everything will just eventually turn out to be one of the sweetest stories ever to be told. JC HAS MADE ME WHOLE...AGAIN.
I used to think my 5-year relationship was love in all its against-all-odds, passionate kiss-and-make-up-splendor. After the break-up two years ago, I've learned there is no such thing as "a wrong kind of love." Either you're in love or not, and that's just that.
So how do we know if it's TRUE LOVE?
For starters, there's John 3:16 which speaks of God's love for us.
Sometimes, when faced with difficulties and seemingly endless problems to be solved, we dare question whether God really loves us and in the process we fail to see -- and understand -- the significance of the Cross. Who on earth would give up his child as ransom for someone else's crime? In one time or another, we may even have asked, "Where's the logic in that?"
God has His reasons, God has His plans and we can never ever fully grasp His wisdom. As Gandhi has so aptly put it: "No one has the capacity to judge God. We are drops in that limitless ocean of mercy." God sent His ONLY son, Jesus Christ (JC), as ransom for our crimes of selfishness, lust, envy, materialism, greed, sloth, dishonesty, murder, et cetera, simply because HE LOOOOVES us! Be that as it may, JC was crucified, rose after three days, and lived to reign with His Father, The King of all Kings. JC lives! He is very much alive today that anytime we feel like asking Him, He would gladly accompany us in our journey towards our reunion with The Father.
"Reunion" here, by the way, is not death which so many of us wouldn't want to happen -- at least not now, right? Relax. The reunion I'm referring to here is a "charmed" life in God's loving hands. There is LIFE in God's love, if only we ask JC to be our guide, if only we ask JC to help us through. The bridge to a healthy, loving relationship with Our Father may be in the so-called "road less-travelled" but I'm telling you, it's worth all the pain. I am reminded of an SMS I've received just this morning : "In dis lyf, 8s hard 2 find a relationshp which wudn't hurt u. So go 4 d 1 w/c makes all the pain worth it."
Since the day I've rededicated my life to be JC's girl, life just didn't become all peace and sweetness and charm in one night, nope! I still struggle everyday. But everytime I turn out the lights before I sleep, I know loving Him is all worth it. Because I know, I BELIEVE, that as I grow in my relationship with Him, everything will just eventually turn out to be one of the sweetest stories ever to be told. JC HAS MADE ME WHOLE...AGAIN.
20060818
The Art of Letting Go
CORE-RELATE!
Let Go (feb2K4): being dumped by your bf of 5 years on account of his "let-me-be-the-one-to-break-it-up-so-you-won't-have-to-make-excuses..." pride.
Let Go (mar2K4): falling in love with a guy who's not actually married and is not really "living in" but -- when you went out with him -- has a kid (and now has 2, by the same woman)... Ok, so he was there for you when you were down, his horns cushioned your fall when your wings failed to carry you (pun intended)... but, but, but!
Let Go (mar2K5): your father dies of cancer when you've just been starting to "accept" the fact that he'll go anytime. Silver lining: he surrendered his ever-critical, stubborn self to Christ a few days before his demise, so that makes you his living witness (even if you weren't there when he breathed his last...)
Let Go (may2K6): how many times do you have to tell yourself that he isn't just the one for you? Ok, so he was with you on your birthday... but, but, but! There is somebody better. You know you deserve better. So stop being stubborn. Make a promise to Him and Him alone. You're His girl and He won't just give you away to somebody who's less-deserving. True love waits, works, waits, works and waits some more!
Let Go (aug2K6): your request for vacation leave for what could have been your first-ever mountaineering activity is disapproved. The training is until November but by September you have to go "on full" every morning with your ministry. You cannot serve two masters. Choose. Your way or His?
Everytime you had to let go, what did you learn? "Parting is such sweet sorrow." There is no joy without sorrow, no silver lining without a rain cloud, no rainbow-always-after-the-rain. Come to think of it. You can't always see the rainbow after the rain but in another part of the world, at exactly the same time, somebody can see one. It's all a matter of perspective. Cry a little or wail your heart out... what matters, above all, is you've learned the greatest lesson that you have to know:
Let Go (feb2K4): being dumped by your bf of 5 years on account of his "let-me-be-the-one-to-break-it-up-so-you-won't-have-to-make-excuses..." pride.
Let Go (mar2K4): falling in love with a guy who's not actually married and is not really "living in" but -- when you went out with him -- has a kid (and now has 2, by the same woman)... Ok, so he was there for you when you were down, his horns cushioned your fall when your wings failed to carry you (pun intended)... but, but, but!
Let Go (mar2K5): your father dies of cancer when you've just been starting to "accept" the fact that he'll go anytime. Silver lining: he surrendered his ever-critical, stubborn self to Christ a few days before his demise, so that makes you his living witness (even if you weren't there when he breathed his last...)
Let Go (may2K6): how many times do you have to tell yourself that he isn't just the one for you? Ok, so he was with you on your birthday... but, but, but! There is somebody better. You know you deserve better. So stop being stubborn. Make a promise to Him and Him alone. You're His girl and He won't just give you away to somebody who's less-deserving. True love waits, works, waits, works and waits some more!
Let Go (aug2K6): your request for vacation leave for what could have been your first-ever mountaineering activity is disapproved. The training is until November but by September you have to go "on full" every morning with your ministry. You cannot serve two masters. Choose. Your way or His?
Everytime you had to let go, what did you learn? "Parting is such sweet sorrow." There is no joy without sorrow, no silver lining without a rain cloud, no rainbow-always-after-the-rain. Come to think of it. You can't always see the rainbow after the rain but in another part of the world, at exactly the same time, somebody can see one. It's all a matter of perspective. Cry a little or wail your heart out... what matters, above all, is you've learned the greatest lesson that you have to know:
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but in the end, it's the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21).Clearly, you know in your heart what you are being called to do. And you cannot deny the fact that you've been delaying your reply for much too long now.
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." (James 4:17).It's OK to cry for now. Soon you'll be wiping away those tears, smiling to yourself and saying, "I will obey because I know Yours is always the better Plan." Who knows, mountaineering may just be in His IT for you in the future.
20060809
Scaling the Mountains
CORE-RELATE!
Will you ever be, as free as you want to be?
Will you ever be, as strong as you ought to be?
Will you ever be, as happy as a bee?
Will you ever? Will you ever?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
there isn't much time?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
what trace you'd leave behind?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
He owns your life, your heart, your time?
Has it ever? Has it ever?
The clock is ticking,
He's been waiting.
Longer than you think, He's been knocking.
Until when will you postpone,
until when will you forego
answering His calling to let His True Love show?
Be brave, take heart
He won't let you go.
Take flight, than fight
Worry not 'bout your friends and foes.
In His time, they all will surely know.
You're JC's girl, you say,
only His love can make a way.
So let go...
Take flight;
Scale the mountains, be the light.
Will you ever be, as free as you want to be?
Will you ever be, as strong as you ought to be?
Will you ever be, as happy as a bee?
Will you ever? Will you ever?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
there isn't much time?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
what trace you'd leave behind?
Has it ever crossed your mind,
He owns your life, your heart, your time?
Has it ever? Has it ever?
The clock is ticking,
He's been waiting.
Longer than you think, He's been knocking.
Until when will you postpone,
until when will you forego
answering His calling to let His True Love show?
Be brave, take heart
He won't let you go.
Take flight, than fight
Worry not 'bout your friends and foes.
In His time, they all will surely know.
You're JC's girl, you say,
only His love can make a way.
So let go...
Take flight;
Scale the mountains, be the light.
20060804
BFR
CORE-RELATE!
Last Sunday's activity was soooo strenuouououous physically, mentally and - come to think of it - emotionally. Fear is nothing when you know you are "prepared," but how prepared can one be?
Coming from the graveyard shift (10pm-6am), I went straight to the whole-day BMC training. I haven't had enough rest and sleep to back me up. Ms. Mental here was telling herself "If I've done it in the Enduro, I can do it again this time..." Wrong move.
After the 8K run (which I did at a snail's pace of 1:02:something...), the ramps exercise (stairclimbing with a loaded backpack) was cancelled to allow more time for our ultimate challenge for the day: rappelling. I've tried standard rappelling in PowerUp Pasig ("just for fun" in preparation for the Enduro, and at the Enduro's 120 ft. tower (no choice, my teammates made me do it... for "fun"). So, Ms. Mental, do you think those two instances were "enough" to take the fear away? No ma'am, NO-O-O.
We were given a lecture on rappelling equipment (harnesses, ropes, carabiners, et.al...) and some pointers. Good thing our resource person from Makati Rescue, Mr. E.E., was magnanimous enough to allow us to process some 'trail food' in our mouths while our minds were processing his lecture. Noticing that my monicker, Ancore, is homonymous with "anchor" which, as I "processed" the lecture, should be a Big Friendly Tree (BFR) deeply rooted to a safe ground, the spiritual me silently pondered: Does God want me to be a BFR for my friends? That's going to be tough!
Last Sunday's activity was soooo strenuouououous physically, mentally and - come to think of it - emotionally. Fear is nothing when you know you are "prepared," but how prepared can one be?
Coming from the graveyard shift (10pm-6am), I went straight to the whole-day BMC training. I haven't had enough rest and sleep to back me up. Ms. Mental here was telling herself "If I've done it in the Enduro, I can do it again this time..." Wrong move.
After the 8K run (which I did at a snail's pace of 1:02:something...), the ramps exercise (stairclimbing with a loaded backpack) was cancelled to allow more time for our ultimate challenge for the day: rappelling. I've tried standard rappelling in PowerUp Pasig ("just for fun" in preparation for the Enduro, and at the Enduro's 120 ft. tower (no choice, my teammates made me do it... for "fun"). So, Ms. Mental, do you think those two instances were "enough" to take the fear away? No ma'am, NO-O-O.
We were given a lecture on rappelling equipment (harnesses, ropes, carabiners, et.al...) and some pointers. Good thing our resource person from Makati Rescue, Mr. E.E., was magnanimous enough to allow us to process some 'trail food' in our mouths while our minds were processing his lecture. Noticing that my monicker, Ancore, is homonymous with "anchor" which, as I "processed" the lecture, should be a Big Friendly Tree (BFR) deeply rooted to a safe ground, the spiritual me silently pondered: Does God want me to be a BFR for my friends? That's going to be tough!
Prayer is a powerful tool. And it was the nagging thought in my heart and mind all throughout the challenging session. There was guilt in my part, knowing He wasn't really pleased with how I was spending my time and I wasn't entirely being loyal to Him. I failed to stand up for Him when I should have, by asking my batchmates to spend some time with me in prayer. If I died that day (yes, that was how I felt when the blood rushed up-down to my head and my ears went numb) and met Him face-to-face perhaps He would have told me, "You failed the test, My child."
Part of my objective in signing up for the BMC was time management. And with that it means not having to "give up" my dates with Him just so I could rest my weary limbs. No. It should be spending my time MORE wisely so that nothing would have to "suffer." I must be able to discipline myself to grow, not to wane, spiritually. I must be able to bring others closer to Him, not draw them further away or just be indifferent.
He's been providing my needs, sending me friends to help me out. And I think one more thing that I would have to convict myself with over and over and over again is to fully TRUST Him and His wisdom.
He gave me a lashing because He was jealous. I was directing my trust in the wrong direction, been focusing on something that was entirely inferior to Him. I was passionate about something that was only second-rate to what He IS. While rappelling, I was asking for help, asking for directions when all that I should have done was to ask for His help to let me do it the right way. So, I had a good beating. A real good, to-the-core, lashing. And my oh my, oh my momma, the tears just kept on flowin...
Part of my objective in signing up for the BMC was time management. And with that it means not having to "give up" my dates with Him just so I could rest my weary limbs. No. It should be spending my time MORE wisely so that nothing would have to "suffer." I must be able to discipline myself to grow, not to wane, spiritually. I must be able to bring others closer to Him, not draw them further away or just be indifferent.
He's been providing my needs, sending me friends to help me out. And I think one more thing that I would have to convict myself with over and over and over again is to fully TRUST Him and His wisdom.
He gave me a lashing because He was jealous. I was directing my trust in the wrong direction, been focusing on something that was entirely inferior to Him. I was passionate about something that was only second-rate to what He IS. While rappelling, I was asking for help, asking for directions when all that I should have done was to ask for His help to let me do it the right way. So, I had a good beating. A real good, to-the-core, lashing. And my oh my, oh my momma, the tears just kept on flowin...
Another eye-opener was: you can't be effectively mental when you don't have enough rest and sleep. (Haven't I learned this before?) Mind over matter won't really work when you know your equipment -- your own body -- is not fully tuned up. When you don't have enough mind power, you won't be able to "muster the courage" enough to do something frighteningly new like doing the lizard rappel 5 floors down inside a worn-out building, no medics around, no trampoline to catch you when you fall, and no concrete knowledge on who your belayer is going to be! I didn't know what hyperventilation actually was -- not after doing the lizard! Sir Jay helped me regulate my breathing afterwards and I couldn't have been more thankful to him and everyone else who was there. Mm-hmm.
It was already dark when I finished the last task, the fly rappel. It is not good to be, to work, (and even play) in the dark. But sometimes, when you have no choice but to do it, you will know that you can get through it if your headlamp's batteries are fully charged. And what better way to recharge those batteries or, have your equipment in tip-top shape, than being tied to the all-time-all-weather-BFR: GOD ALMIGHTY, with a pull tension on the system of your prayer line!
13May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones. 1 Thessalonians 3:13
20060709
DEFY your LIMITS
CORE-RELATE!
Self-talk: "Challenge yourself at AMCI, defy your limits at the Enduro. Ancore, just what have you gotten yourself into?!"
Self-exploration. I think everyone could benefit from discovering something about themselves everyday SO while I still have all the "single" time in my hands, I can't see any other right timing for it. Mm-hmm.
Yesterday, in my quest to stretch my physical limits, I went "against all odds": MVP (a heart condition), ITBS (a knee problem -- not due to old age because I'm NOT that old), inadequate rest and sleep (I worked from 9pm the previous night til 5am on race day), and a heavy 2nd-day flow (thank God for Modess). Plus the fact that I only had half of a Powerbar for breakfast!
Suicidal, eh? Not quite.
In retrospect, I've just begun entering the opened doors and I'm still on the adjustment phase, searching for the right switches to click. Call me "mental" but really, I think 'driven' is my second name. I can condition my mind to do something new each time and conquer the tension wires. I may be a bit emotionally unsound, especially when I'm 'puyat' but I try to pacify myself by shifting focus ("JTG!") before the anger hormones kick in or the tear ducts open (whichever comes first).
Being happy -- and thankful -- is not just a choice one has to make. It's also a lifestyle. For me, at least it is. And at my first brush with adventure racing yesterday, I can't stop smiling with the thought: THANK GOD FOR THE RAIN!
Self-talk: "Challenge yourself at AMCI, defy your limits at the Enduro. Ancore, just what have you gotten yourself into?!"
Self-exploration. I think everyone could benefit from discovering something about themselves everyday SO while I still have all the "single" time in my hands, I can't see any other right timing for it. Mm-hmm.
Yesterday, in my quest to stretch my physical limits, I went "against all odds": MVP (a heart condition), ITBS (a knee problem -- not due to old age because I'm NOT that old), inadequate rest and sleep (I worked from 9pm the previous night til 5am on race day), and a heavy 2nd-day flow (thank God for Modess). Plus the fact that I only had half of a Powerbar for breakfast!
Suicidal, eh? Not quite.
In retrospect, I've just begun entering the opened doors and I'm still on the adjustment phase, searching for the right switches to click. Call me "mental" but really, I think 'driven' is my second name. I can condition my mind to do something new each time and conquer the tension wires. I may be a bit emotionally unsound, especially when I'm 'puyat' but I try to pacify myself by shifting focus ("JTG!") before the anger hormones kick in or the tear ducts open (whichever comes first).
Being happy -- and thankful -- is not just a choice one has to make. It's also a lifestyle. For me, at least it is. And at my first brush with adventure racing yesterday, I can't stop smiling with the thought: THANK GOD FOR THE RAIN!
"For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have." 2 Corinthians 8:12
20060619
"AMCI BMC 2006:Challenge Yourself"
CORE-RELATE!
I don't do push-ups and I am not a regular fitness buff. My lifestyle consists of basically a not-so-routine routine of 'anything goes, if I feel like it.' And I have a tendency to overindulge on rewarding myself one time-big time like there's no tomorrow. Time management is rather alien to me because when you seem to have all the time in your hands, need you manage it or "divide" it?
Well, Reality smacked me on the head just recently and told me, 'Anne, you don't own your time. It's Mine.' So He zoomed in on my weakest point: T-I-M-E and He, almost simultaneously, opened doors: True Love Waits-Phils., Wi-Max, AMCI/SanMigEnduro/RudyGirl,The Pillar. Funny, He challenged me to explore such doors on a limited (or make that "super tight") budget. Mm-hmm.
With a workshift that changes every week, it might be difficult for me to be able to 'comply' with the schedule of what I've put myself into. But I've also been thinking of that as being the whole point of everything, a major part of the challenge that I have to face and conquer. To improve my lifestyle, I have to set my priorities straight. I have to train myself to lead by observing how real leaders strut their thing and by mentally pointing out their strengths and weaknesses.
So this morning, even if the thought of backing out crossed my mind, I soldiered on.
I was practically on time for the 6am call time but we didn't start until around 7. Nobody was marked tardy because some of the leaders themselves were tardy. We started with warm-up stretches and jumping jacks then ran 4 rounds on the 400m-oval. We were subjected to push-ups, tiger push-ups, toe touches, lounges, single leg tiptoes, steps. Notably, no prayers were said for the batch, except for the one Group 8 had in our little brainstorming
A little group dynamics was also asked of us through a presentation. I think our group did fairly well with old-school chants "Go,go,go; fight, fight, fight. Group eight, fight!" and "Sa dagat, sa bundok, di kami matatakot; kami ang grupong 'di susuko..." culminating in a human pyramid (with me on top, by golly!) and a shout "Challenge yourself, AMCI 2006!"
It's about time I totally got out of my shell and not just take small peeks in what Reality has for me. There isn't much time and I have to straighten things out before my sands hit the bottom of the hourglass. An athlete needs a lot of self-discipline and rigid training.. and so does a leader. As Dr. John C. Maxwell puts it: "We must travel on the inside before we can travel on the outside, because the journey of growth and success is first an internal one. The first person you lead is you -- and you can't lead effectively without self-discipline." (The Maxwell Leadership Bible, 2003).
And a good leader must first learn how to be a good follower. That's what I signed up in the BMC for: to be trained how to be a better follower, to be able to take the lead.
There are no excuses for mediocrity and the only standard for excellence rests on Him: for His glory, I will endure; for His glory, I will excel; for His glory, I will share and above all, for His glory, I will be... 'magnanimous in victory; humble in defeat.' And I must remind myself that the only competitor I have here is me! So, I must enjoy!
20060529
Wag Muna
CORE-RELATE!
God is at work. And I am excited about His Gameplan. Little by little, one day at a time, one step at a time, He's uncovering a very wonderful picture to me and I can't describe how, ironically, I'm being more patient about it. Geez.
This afternoon, I had my first brush with cut-out paper hearts and paper dolls. Kuya Derek kept thanking me and I'm just humbled knowing that I was able to help in my own little way. Tomorrow, those cut-outs will serve their purpose and I am eagerly looking forward to witness my first ever True Love Waits (TLW) seminar.
So help us God.
***
You might want to check-out TLW Philippines' official website. It's still under construction and honest comments, questions and suggestions are welcome.
God is at work. And I am excited about His Gameplan. Little by little, one day at a time, one step at a time, He's uncovering a very wonderful picture to me and I can't describe how, ironically, I'm being more patient about it. Geez.
This afternoon, I had my first brush with cut-out paper hearts and paper dolls. Kuya Derek kept thanking me and I'm just humbled knowing that I was able to help in my own little way. Tomorrow, those cut-outs will serve their purpose and I am eagerly looking forward to witness my first ever True Love Waits (TLW) seminar.
So help us God.
***
You might want to check-out TLW Philippines' official website. It's still under construction and honest comments, questions and suggestions are welcome.
20060513
fair share
CORE-RELATE! This battle isn't mine... it isn't mine alone. And as surely as I am a work in progress, so too are my friends and the people I encounter everyday of my life.
I have a mission to fulfill and it is something bigger than what my eyes and heart can hold. I have a lot of love to give, to share, and I know there'll be -- there is -- no better way to share it than sharing it with the everyday people in my life.
Aside from love, I guess another thing I have a lot to share of is a genuine smile. A smile is contagious and I think I know myself enough to say that smiling is a natural thing for me. I never smile just because I have to; even if it's just for posterity, my smile always comes from deep within me. If it doesn't, it comes out as an obvious smirk.
What am I trying to drive at until this point?
Well, my birthday celebration's coming up and I'll be sharing it with Milan (April 30) and Erbeex (May 4). Somehow I "envisioned" it to be a BAM party but resolved to rename it as MBA, in order of our birthdates -- mine being May 17.
MBA... perhaps I could start my message with that.
MBA, Ph.D.,MD... or how about Atty., Dr., Archt., Engr., H.E...? Those attachments that come with a name. When we die, it all boils down to a simple Mr. and Ms. All those years of working hard for degrees so we can 'attach' another to the string of letters, well, they will have no purpose in death.
Hmm... Perhaps I'll just stick with the 'closing' part... book reading. I'll just let everybody have their share of chat time then wait for some kind of a cue from anyone of them so we can read "My Heart: Christ's Home." Yeah. I'll just wait for a cue. It will be very good to share Christ with them.
My testimony? It will just come out. By God's grace.
For now, I have to sleep.
Wake-up at 9, Church at 11.
Father, Thy will be done. Amen.
I have a mission to fulfill and it is something bigger than what my eyes and heart can hold. I have a lot of love to give, to share, and I know there'll be -- there is -- no better way to share it than sharing it with the everyday people in my life.
Aside from love, I guess another thing I have a lot to share of is a genuine smile. A smile is contagious and I think I know myself enough to say that smiling is a natural thing for me. I never smile just because I have to; even if it's just for posterity, my smile always comes from deep within me. If it doesn't, it comes out as an obvious smirk.
What am I trying to drive at until this point?
Well, my birthday celebration's coming up and I'll be sharing it with Milan (April 30) and Erbeex (May 4). Somehow I "envisioned" it to be a BAM party but resolved to rename it as MBA, in order of our birthdates -- mine being May 17.
MBA... perhaps I could start my message with that.
MBA, Ph.D.,MD... or how about Atty., Dr., Archt., Engr., H.E...? Those attachments that come with a name. When we die, it all boils down to a simple Mr. and Ms. All those years of working hard for degrees so we can 'attach' another to the string of letters, well, they will have no purpose in death.
Hmm... Perhaps I'll just stick with the 'closing' part... book reading. I'll just let everybody have their share of chat time then wait for some kind of a cue from anyone of them so we can read "My Heart: Christ's Home." Yeah. I'll just wait for a cue. It will be very good to share Christ with them.
My testimony? It will just come out. By God's grace.
For now, I have to sleep.
Wake-up at 9, Church at 11.
Father, Thy will be done. Amen.
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