fu·sion (fyū'zhən) n.
- The act or procedure of liquefying or melting by the application of heat.
- The liquid or melted state induced by heat.
- The merging of different elements into a union: the fusion of copper and zinc to form brass; the difficult fusion of conflicting political factions.
- A union resulting from fusing: A fusion of religion and politics emerged.
- Physics. A nuclear reaction in which nuclei combine to form more massive nuclei with the simultaneous release of energy.
- Music that blends jazz elements and the heavy repetitive rhythms of rock. Also called jazz-fusion, jazz-rock.
- A style of cooking that combines ingredients and techniques from very different cultures or countries.
Fortunately, God has blessed me with a spoonful of salt when it comes to fusing things (or concepts) together and make sense of everything that He allows me to be 'involved' in.
During the first Sunday of February, I had the privilege of knowing a whole new depth to the word "lost." I've learned that being Lonely, Ostracized, Seduced and Terminal is part of the reality where most people nowadays find themselves in, whether or not they're aware of it: Lost because they don't know where they're going or what their purpose in life is; Ostracized because they find themselves in an endless struggle of trying to belong; Seduced by the world's transient promises of fame, fortitude and fortune; Terminal because once they're dead, they're dead.
I was lost once and the sad thing was, I wasn't even aware of how badly I was lost. I was a relationship junkie and a 'secret' alcoholic. When I found out about my addiction, I even denied it. To my mind, I was "being normal." I thought everyone is entitled to live his or her life his or her own way, minding his or her own business like eat, drink, work, be merry, do some act of charity every now and then. I used to believe God is out there but I didn't think He really was interested in me anyway. Besides, I thought, we will all die sooner or later and that's perfectly normal.
Being normal for me back then also meant keeping some secrets to myself that gave me a dangerous kind of delight. In spite of my hidden conquests, however, a part of me was a void that no amount of vodka or relationship could fill. I was "addicted to love" but the more I had of the kind of love I knew back then, the more empty I felt. Outwardly, I seemed perfectly normal - even happier than most people - but inside, worms were eating me as a person, bit by bit.
They say Hell is paved with good intentions and like any normal human being, I fused many of my good intentions with my 'discreet' waywardness. I was, ironically, enjoying my secret path to Hell but as God sees and knows everything, He nudged me from my normalcy, spanked me and gave me options: Heaven or Hell. In His love for me, He disciplined me and enabled me to make a U-turn towards Him. In my brokenness, I saw myself as He saw me - FOR REAL - a lost soul who needed to be found and saved. In July 2004, God made me realize I needed Jesus more than anything or anyone else in my "normal" life and I just can't go on living a mediocre life, that is, a purposeless, directionless life. Today, for the past six (6) years, I've been living a different "normal" that even my closest friends couldn't comprehend - at least, not yet fully at this point. It's the kind of "normal" that is being made possible moment by moment each day only by the grace of God.
Valentine's Day this year fell on a Sunday and the single me didn't receive flowers, cards or dozens of chocolates but there was just an abundance of love that I couldn't contain. While the rest of the world celebrated "Hearts' Day," I was busy finding answers to the question "What on Earth is Going On?" Our Senior Pastor delivered God's message on 'The Source,' that is, the Bible. Such great book is the anchor of my faith and there is no disproving that it contains the promises that God has for His people. It chronicles the unsurpassed love of God for humanity and how He has extended His mercy through all generations. It also enables any Bible-believing Christian (or even any skeptic) to get to know more about who God is, who Jesus is, and even who the Holy Spirit is. Such is a three-fold mystery that can never be fully comprehended by the human mind yet it is revealed in part to those who are 'eagerly' seeking for answers.
I used to be skeptic towards signs but the more I read the Bible, the more I am convinced of the reality that The Signs of the times can't just be ignored - especially when, last January 24th, I've personally heard God's message through Joel C. Rosenberg live. Something is happening, and JESUS will come again soon. Nobody knows for sure, yet I do not doubt that it pays to be ready anytime.
That certainty was reinforced by the Sunday message last February 21, when I've learned about three major signs that show the reality of the end-times: Deception of Believers, the Destruction of Mankind and the Declaration of the Gospel. It is easy to be deceived when we don't know the object of our faith, and what God says in His Word. Fortunately, God is continually shielding me against being deceived or swayed by opening my eyes so I can understand Scripture. Unfortunately, we've also been seeing the rise and fall of many cults and organized religions all over the world. But as God enables me to see as He sees even when I am not a prophet, I do not doubt that the destruction of mankind is imminent. Take a look at the following information I gathered from USGS which lists 5 significant earthquakes, including the 7.0 in Haiti last January 12:
- Magnitude 8.8 OFFSHORE MAULE, CHILE February 27, 2010
- Magnitude 7.0 RYUKYU ISLANDS, JAPAN February 26, 2010
- Magnitude 6.9 CHINA-RUSSIA-NORTH KOREA BORDER REGION February 18, 2010
- Magnitude 5.9 OFFSHORE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA February 04, 2010
- Magnitude 7.0 HAITI REGION January 12, 2010
Coincidentally, as I go into an in-depth study on the end-times, I am also on the road to full recovery from my hurts, hang-ups and destructive habits as I attend the Glorious Hope Program. Along with these two major studies, God is also continually enlarging my borders as He enables me to have fellowship and connect with fellow Christians who work in call centers.
I am looking forward to more exciting Friday nights ahead, as (Lord-willing) I will be attending F@UR (Fridays at the Upper Room) in Eastwood City, where I had the opportunity to watch the movie "Left Behind." It further strengthened my desire to live my life the way I ought to, that is, the way God wills me to. My life is in His hands and I am looking forward to being caught up in the air with Jesus at His appointed time.
My "normalcy" is now a healthy fusion of purposeful activities all throughout the week that help me strengthen the foundation of my faith and the "proof" of the pudding: a transformed and balanced life that is characterized only by the unconditional love of Christ. I am still working on the "balance" and I admit, there are times when it's just very tempting to take off my Christianity armor and put on 'plain clothes.' However, any other clothing will do me more harm than good, making me feel naked and insecure so I choose to suit my armor of Jesus' love each day and I am continually learning to relax and rely on the Holy Spirit to fight the battles for me. Actually, JESUS CHRIST has already won the battle and what I have to deal with each day are little skirmishes that help me become - by choice - either bitter or better. Of course, I choose to be better, yet not on my own but with my Lord and Savior, the Lover of my soul. This is the "normal" I wouldn't exchange for anything else in the world - not even for a biochip.