20170205

When Love... Comes Softly

CORE-RELATE! I love looking up the scripts of movies which have a profound impact on my heart. One of those movies is Hallmark Channel's 'Love Comes Softly'.
Once you can read, you can have
every adventure you ever dreamed of.
In the pages of a book,
you are a princess in a tower...
or the best shot
in the West.
In those pages,
there are no limits...
to where you can go...
who you can be.
No one will ever tell you
you're too young to slay the dragon...
because it all happens
right here where it's safe.
These were Marty's words to Missie, explaining her love for books to an unruly nine year-old.

I realize I first drafted this post in September 2015 and it's only today that I've come upon it again. It's 6:27am here in Mandaluyong City, Philippines, January 15, 2017, and my Sunday morning has just begun.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" The chorus got off at 05:30 but my wits were already in their waking state at the time, trying to make sense of the dream I just had. One of the hunks I dated (and held dear to my heart) was in that dream. Sensing that my husband was already waking up as well, I started telling him about the dream.

At one point I had to stop and ask my husband (in my library voice), "Are you listening?" When he grunted in approval I continued.

Let me take you with me to that dream.
I am in a breezy place, close to nature, with lots of green trees around. The lawn is a carpet of green and I can hear the birds chirping. I am on the foot of a mountain. I am married but in this retreat, I am alone yet happy. Picture Julie-Andrews-on-the-hills happy, minus the blonde hair. 
Next snap is a cool afternoon and I take a glance at the retreat program which says "Night Out." My hair is up on a bun and I am wearing not-so-skimpy shorts but a pair of white denim shorts which flatter my hips and make my legs appear slimmer and longer than they are. My long-sleeved shirt is a subtle shade of checkers. As I enter one room jiggling my way happily, two tall, athletic men appear on the front door. One of them was the hunk. I don't turn my head to greet him but I see him on the corner of my eye. He knows that I know that he knows. 
The scene zaps to that time when I snatch a bread knife from the table. Nobody sees it except the hunk. I'm not aware if anybody saw me - I just hurry towards my assigned bedroom upstairs. The bedroom has 2 double-decker beds and I go to my spot on the top bunk. I am in shambles. I am sitting on the bed, holding the bread knife in my right hand and now I am placing it on my left wrist. I am in so much pain. I want the pain to end. But I couldn't do it. 
The pain is so real. I feel the searing anguish as I lie on the bed face down. I cry out, "LOOOOORD!" in between sobs, my hands weak and eventually letting go of the bread knife and letting it slide underneath the sheets. "LOOOOORD!" I cry out again. 
In what seems like a teleport moment, I now see myself in two places: up there bawling on the top bunk and outside the bedroom door, listening to the frantic hunk speak to someone on the phone.  
"Baby," he says, "if I don't go in there, she'll kill herself." He hungs up. 
He goes to my room and now I'm back in one place, in that prostrate state, crying, sobbing like crazy, praying in great pain. 
"Ancore?" he asks. "Okay ka lang ba?" (Are you alright?) 
I speak. "O-kay-lang." 
He fades away. 
I am now in the coaster van (minibus). I am seated by the window, quiet, people's voices drowned out in my deep thoughts. We are returning to the place at the foot of the mountain. 
I get off the bus. I am now walking on the soft green carpet of grass and as I look up, I see my husband. "Daddy... Daddy..." I cry softly and he takes me into his arms in a warm embrace. I am secure. I am safe. I am now free.
After I finished essaying my dream, my husband said: "My take on that? You can't force people's love."

Indeed. In the same way Marty and Missie's love for each other grew through time, so it is with the love I have for my husband. Sarah Graham's word just about sums it up:
I got more love in my heart
for that man...
than anybody
oughta be allowed.
I can't even tell you
when it happened.
You know...
sometimes love
isn't fireworks.
Sometimes love
just comes softly.
Indeed.

__
Script quoted from Springfield! Springfield!

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