Self-talk: "Challenge yourself at AMCI, defy your limits at the Enduro. Ancore, just what have you gotten yourself into?!"
Self-exploration. I think everyone could benefit from discovering something about themselves everyday SO while I still have all the "single" time in my hands, I can't see any other right timing for it. Mm-hmm.
Yesterday, in my quest to stretch my physical limits, I went "against all odds": MVP (a heart condition), ITBS (a knee problem -- not due to old age because I'm NOT that old), inadequate rest and sleep (I worked from 9pm the previous night til 5am on race day), and a heavy 2nd-day flow (thank God for Modess). Plus the fact that I only had half of a Powerbar for breakfast!
Suicidal, eh? Not quite.
In retrospect, I've just begun entering the opened doors and I'm still on the adjustment phase, searching for the right switches to click. Call me "mental" but really, I think 'driven' is my second name. I can condition my mind to do something new each time and conquer the tension wires. I may be a bit emotionally unsound, especially when I'm 'puyat' but I try to pacify myself by shifting focus ("JTG!") before the anger hormones kick in or the tear ducts open (whichever comes first).
Being happy -- and thankful -- is not just a choice one has to make. It's also a lifestyle. For me, at least it is. And at my first brush with adventure racing yesterday, I can't stop smiling with the thought: THANK GOD FOR THE RAIN!
"For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have." 2 Corinthians 8:12