It takes courage to speak up and even more courage to keep quiet.
I've chosen the latter step, to make me see the innermost corners of my heart for a rain check and know deeply WHY I've been doing the things I've been doing.
I can only do so much and I can only know myself to a certain extent. What I am is God's work in progress, He knows me way more than I know myself and, through the hard way, He has taught me how painful it is to love the way that Christ has loved all of us.
Don't get me wrong. I am happy with the way things are at the moment, I am thankful amidst all the trials and persecution and I am so hopeful for what lies ahead of me. I know that as long as my heart is right with the Lord, all things will turn out right for me.
Sometimes people say hurtful things without meaning to because that is how they perceive them to be. They don't know that in speaking up their minds and hearts, they have turned out to judge the other person and hurt the person along the way. I am both a villain and a victim in this area.
So out of love, the wordy me chose to keep quiet for a time.
God is molding me. And so is He molding the rest of us.
Take a good look at the Cross. When it was erected, wasn't it that the vertical post was erected first before the horizontal piece of wood where they nailed Jesus Christ? I have learned, that I have to make things right with God first and eventually, He will cause my relationships to work out just the way He wants them to be: nourishing, peaceable and filled with sincere, unselfish, sacrificial love.
And even when I can't see the fruits of my labor for the Lord, I know that He is doing wonders in the hearts of many people I've shared the Gospel, my faith and my testimony with.
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I wil be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights..." - Habakkuk 3:17-19