I was browsing through my phone to free up space when I chanced upon this in my inbox:
Forwarded text message>> "Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.What if you got it back? - for one more day - what will you do?"
My unsent reply>> For one more day, if I'll have another chance, another time to be with that person I love but did not seem to have, I would instead ask him to hold my hand, and be one with God in prayer. I have chosen to sin the last time we were together. I have chosen to ignore the wisdom of going to God for guidance and protection. I succumbed to my desires, knowing fully well that we may not see each other again - ever. Perhaps that was the last time. I could go on waiting forever for the call that he just won't make or the email that he just will not send. I have lost him... but I guess I never really had him in the first place. He had me... but he never showed enough if I had him in the same way he had me. God's grace, mercy and love are what will sustain me. In the fullness of time, God is out to do me good. Until then, I can only wait and work on my strengths so that I may be worthy of the person that God has prepared for me - whoever it may be - but more importantly, to be the best person that God wants me to be. Without Christ, I am NOTHING. 010208 23:21
I remember purposefully not sending the reply because I knew the recipient wouldn't understand. There is a chapter in my life that's like in 'limbo' state and I believe in my heart that pretty soon - after four long years - everything will be clear. I've chosen to publish my unsent reply as my first step to total liberty and in strengthening my testimony.
One more day to make things right...
One more day before I bid, "Adieu, Monsieur."
One more day is all I need... to fully let go, close that chapter in my life and take a firmer stance in the Right Path.
"The truth shall set you free..."
Whatever is God's will will happen.
I am a work-in-progress and the clock is ticking. My days are numbered and I know in my heart and mind that the waiting is almost over.
I admire the work that He has done in you sis. It takes a lot to step-out of the "CZ" and accept. Indeed We are humbled in each and every experience. To God be the glory for ever and ever!
ReplyDeletethanks momsie...
ReplyDelete"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -- Albert Einstein
My sanity is founded in Christ and there is indeed no more turning back to a frustrating, insanity-laden, guilt-stricken my-way kind of life. Waiting is never easy but it is exciting and fruitful when it is shared. :)