While continuing my laundry this morning, a realization came into mind regarding my heart condition, mitral valve prolapse (MVP). It's a congenital heart disease which is not readily detected at birth. I was diagnosed with it in 2000.
It's a wonder that I'm asymptomatic, ie, no shortness of breath nor chest pains when it was detected. Doctors hear it from their staetoscope (hope I spelled that correctly) as a regurgitation -- a vibrating sound.
I had to stop my laundry to blog about this sweet revelation.
You see, before I became fully committed to Jesus Christ as Lord of my life, I thought I had no problems loving people. I thought I had no problems with patience and waiting. When I became more intimate with Jesus, that's when I found out that my 'standards' fall short of His.
These days, as I learn how to love as Jesus loves, how to be gracious while guarding my heart, I am reminded of the word 'overflow.'
Ever heard of the phrase, "You can't give what you don't have"? Well, that holds true for me. Most of the time, there's nothing else I could give except love. I love people. All sorts of people.
Of course, by default, I love my family. I have "no choice" but to love them -- accept them for how God made them, warts and all. I love my relatives who are yet to have a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I love my Dgroup. I love my church family, Christ's Commission Fellowship, and my former churchmates in Community Baptist Church. I love my godchildren who will be flogging me for presents this Christmas. I love all my batchmates and schoolmates in Montessori, in Sacred Heart, in Cora Doloroso, in Informatics, in UST. I love my friends and former workmates in Pagcor and in StreamGlobal. I love the people I worked with in Chinabank, in PeopleSupport, in CCF NXTGen. I love TrueLoveWaits, ECPAT, Takbo.ph, WorldVision, Livestrong, WWF. I love all my leaders, teachers and instructors - including my dearly departed BusinessMath teacher Ms. Cecile Bacay and Kru Robert Valdez who coached me MuayThai.
I love the Badjao kids who throw their donation envelopes to my lap when I'm in the jeepney. I love the beggars who poke me for a coin or something to eat. I love the strangers who don't care enough to say "Sorry" when they cut me upon entering the elevator. I love Mid-eastern people whose accents I have a very, very difficult time understanding. I love the teenagers and the singles who are in a boy-girl relationship, and even those who are in same-sex relationships. I love smokers even when I really can't relate with them regarding the 'health benefits' of smoking. I love the prostitutes who feel hopelessly stuck in their dire situation. I love the "party people."
I love the Christian guy who accused me of not knowing how to love. I love the Christian guy who always seems to forget my name and can't bring himself to initiate conversation or even say Hi when I'm just waiting for him to do so. And I also love the Christian guy who's still pursuing my heart in spite of the many times I've turned down his proposal.
I hope this doesn't sound self-righteous but really, there are times when there's nothing I can do to express my love except to just keep doors open, not burn bridges and just pour my heart out in prayer. Incidentally, such is similar to my medical condition.
The way I understand my mitral valve prolapse, the regurgitation (swooshing sound) is caused by the overflow of blood to the heart. Since the mitral valve doesn't fully close, there's an "outburst" or splatters of blood outside the walls. This results to possible enlargement of the heart and, at some point, the patient WILL have to undergo a major heart operation for a valve replacement.
My heart doesn't fully close its doors both literally and figuratively and there is an overflow of love that just splatters all around. There are times when my love isn't felt by its intended recipients because I failed to speak their love language; somehow miscommunication ensues as a result of a (love)language barrier because I was loving the other person with my love language not with his or her love language.
Last night, I had a long walk while looking for a laundry service for my comforters, bed sheets and curtains. It was such a long walk that my legs prompted me to run a good distance even when I was only wearing slippers. It dawned on me that I may have let go of my triathlon dream but my love for running won't fade. I have surrendered my future running events to the Lord so that I will glorify Him in my running. By faith, I claim my MVP will attest to that. Nothing can separate me from His love, and I will run the marathon of life with the greatest Coach of all time, my faithful running partner, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Could any love be sweeter than that?