From Pro-Choice to Pro-Life (My updated testimony)


I am a follower of Christ.

I was only about 10 years old when I prayed to accept Jesus in my heart and got the assurance that I will go to heaven when I die. I was basically a "good person" and I always chose to be the 'underdog' rather than step on someone else's toes. I grew up believing I was a good kid, though not religious, because young as I was, I knew I was different. Well, I was a confused kid. I knew that I was 'Born Again' but it wasn't a religion. I understood that praying to images was unacceptable to God so I'm not Catholic. But i didn't fully understand what the difference was.

Though I wanted to be different, I struggled to fit in and 'not have problems' so I would just put 'Roman Catholic' in my school papers. Nobody 'helped' me read the Bible. My mom and dad didn't go to church every Sunday. We prayed before meals but whatever I knew about God that time, I knew it only in my heart. Life to me back then was a matter of choice: good or bad, right or wrong, heaven or hell.
So I "chose" to do the right things even when no one was looking. I almost always "chose" to obey my parents because I can't afford to disobey them. I "chose" to be good because I believed choosing the bad will send me to hell.
After I finished college and graduated -- by choice -- as "NBSB" (No Boyfriend Since Birth) I prayed "LORD, I know what's wrong and what's right. Let me handle things my way this time." And so, I started having phone sex. I didn't plan it. "It just happened," as the cliche' goes. Well, I didn't think phone sex was wrong in itself so I didn't think God will punish me for it. I also started dating.

After my first heartbreak, I gave my soul to the devil in exchange for charm. In late September of 1999, I decided to meet up with a guy, "A," I met through the phone. What I planned to be just a one night stand turned out to be my "most serious" relationship. It went on for 5 years and proved to be the most damaging for me. My lying became more incessant, I became manipulative and inwardly proud because I "fell in love."
I don't remember the exact date when I "took matters into my own hands" and, with "A", aborted my baby who would probably be around 11 years old today. I remember how we 'meticulously' planned that dreadful day. "A" had a friend who knew where to buy an abortive pill and how to 'administer it.' "A" was the doctor, I was his patient. Judging from the large amount of the blood I lost that day, I believe today that it was only by God's mercy that I still woke up then after I fell asleep. I was still able to take a shower. "A" and I checked out of the motel as if nothing happened and had lunch. I managed to get home in the usual time and I called in sick the next work shift.
I didn't "mourn" the death of my baby -- not until february 2004 when "A" broke up with me because I dated "L". That time, my relationship with "A" was on-and-off and I wanted a "cool off." "A" beat me to it and broke up with me instead through a text message "I'm setting you free."
Around March or April of 2004, I remember "bargaining" with God that if He will allow a branch transfer for me (the first time I'll ever be living on my own), I will begin my journey back to Him. That time, I was working in a casino and a branch transfer request took several months for approval. My request was granted sooner than everyone expected and some of my workmates even teased me as "anak ka ng Diyos" (you're a child of God). Looking back, yes I was already at that time His but I was more like His prodigal child.
As i 'promised' God, I started Day 1 of Purpose Driven Life the minute I settled my bags in my assigned employer-paid hotel room in Laoag City July 9, 2004. Here's my journal entry on day 1:
"Day 1: 07.09.04, Friday IT ALL STARTS w/ GOD
Hmm...I'm officially on my own now...here in Laoag City, Ilocos Norte. & I'm here on purpose. It came sooner than I expected but I believe, yes, God willed it this soon.
"'My' purpose. Chapter 1 says 'It's not about me, it's about God.' Living for God, according to His plan for me...
"When I asked for transfer to this place, I had in mind my sisters, my parents and ultimately myself. There's this longing to fulfill my 'obligations' to them before I do things for myself.
"But then again, I have a promise to God...that if He granted my request, I will begin my journey.
"As of now, I could just think of one purpose that God has designed for me: help my family, and send my 2 sisters not to but through college.
"So help me God.
"P.S. People tend to joke about 'forgetting' or getting over a heartbreak. Well, the greatest heartbreak I've had 'came' last Feb. and it 'ended' sooner than it's 'expected'. I don't intend to recall the details, but one thing's for sure: GOD helped me through the pain... and sent me someone to make healing a lot easier. It was “L”. I thank God for “L”. He holds a special place in my heart... I can't say that he is my savior though. 'Coz if there's anyone who perfectly fits the word, "Savior," it's Jesus Christ! Him and only Him!"

I studied, and reflected on the lessons everyday without fail on my first week and started struggling on the second week but went on. On July 21, 2004, here's a snippet of what I wrote:
"Day 10: 07.19/20/21.04, Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday THE HEART OF WORSHIP" Surrendering everything to God. Hmmm... it's a surefire way to keep away all the worries... I'm not much too worried although I must admit I am apprehensive (yeah, a bit, worried... ok, I AM worried...) about my finances. I'm just not comfortable owing a lot of people money... and I have to pay the rent here and utilities..."Whew! I can handle this. Or rather, God would help me handle this. I just have to lift everything to Him... including Mama and Papa's health... my sisters' schooling... my love life..."I tend to be paranoid sometimes, wondering really what other people thnk of me, as if I care..."Anyway, we can't please everybody. And we just have to let God do the work in our 'relationships' or dealings with people at work and in the neighborhood. Pray, pray, pray. Trust. Have faith. Believe. Surrender. Survive... (sounds like Starstruck... I'd rather say GOD-struck)."The LORD is my Shepherd. I shall not want... Hands up to the LORD. I surrender. 00:57 07.21.04"

Day 40 “Thinking About My Purpose” of my personal study with the Purpose-Driven Life  fell on March 16,2005, a Wednesday, and part of what I wrote were:
“With Christ at the center of my life, I am more INSPIRED to follow GOD’s WILL for me and my family, developing CHRIST IN ME, IN MY HEART, IN MY MIND, in everything that I do so that I’d RADIATE CHRIST and inspire others with the things I say and how I behave. This will not be easy but as long as I HOLD ON TO CHRIST and develop my FRIENDSHIP with Him each day, so that the Father will be delighted, I wouldn’t worry how I’d be able to communicate to my family and all single adults like me (and even teenagers) the LOVE of GOD and the POWER of FAITH in Him. God holds my right hand and walks with me each day of my life. He holds the KEY to my heart, He holds the PEN of my BOOK of LOVE LIFE and LIFE ITSELF, He stands at the HELM of my LIFE’s SHIP…YOUR WILL BE DONE, O FATHER.”

My journey with Christ is far from over and by His grace, He has enabled me to fully move on from my relationships both with "A" and "L." I can't help but just be amazed at how God's Spirit has opened my eyes to understand the Bible, apply it in my life and share His love to others.

I've been married for 81 days now to a guy who knew all about me through a story in Kuya Kevin's book "Learning the Hard Way". My name isn't imprinted anywhere in its pages and so I praise God for the privilege that He has allowed me to have to contribute my testimony there, and even for the compassion and the non-judgmental, enduring love He has placed in the heart of my husband to pursue me. I haven’t stood and testified at the pulpit in front of a large congregation but I do not doubt that the story of God's goodness in my life is making an impact in the lives of people who read Kuya Kevin's book, read this blog or personally know me.
I firmly believe, without a tinge of any doubt, that Jesus Christ can relate with me in everything that I go through. He loves me and has fully paid the penalty of my abortion (and all of my past, present and future sins) when He gave His life for me on the Cross. In Him, I have hope because He didn't stay dead: He rose again on the third day and is now very much alive and is with me, walking with me every moment. I still am a sinner, I still struggle with anger and sin, yet His Holy Spirit enables me to live my life His way, not mine, to be conformed more into being a gentle and quiet spirit.

My heart gets broken for broken homes and lives being broken by human trafficking, premarital sex, extramarital sex and homosexuality. I cry out for our persecuted missionary brothers and sisters, and my unsaved relatives, friends and even some of the strangers I meet each day.

I am still learning to understand what God's grace truly means and everyday I wake up to a new day thankful that it's another chance for me to make things right with Him. I know, in my heart of hearts, all my good deeds are just rags to Him and it's only Christ's righteousness that makes me really right with God. I can't live my life on my own; I need His help. I have to stay connected to Him for apart from Him, I can do nothing and I cannot truly make a lasting impact in the lives of others.

I think it takes one's choice to have an abortion but it takes one's will to have Jesus Christ as LORD and SAVIOR. Jesus said in John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

From pro-choice to pro-life, Jesus Christ is my Life. By the grace of God, I am pro-Jesus; I am pro-Life.


  1. It gives me great joy to see how God has blessed you with a great life and marriage!

  2. thank you, kuya kevin! only by His grace! :) best regards to your lovely wife!

  3. Thank you Kuya Kevin for being the bridge that led me to my wonderful wife :) praise God for you and your ministry..


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