Material Things are Immaterial...

CORE-RELATE!

..and writing is my morphine. Morphine kills pain and for me writing - or blogging - does just that. It eases me of cluttered thoughts and overwhelming emotions. It soothes my soul. It releases me of burdens, of ideas that clamor to be unleashed, and read.

My 'writing triggers' range from anywhere amongst inspirational to philosophical to intellectual to dogmatic to poetic to funny to idiotic. Writing to me is as necessary as breathing. I keep a journal and for other things which my mind considers share-worthy, I blog.Yesterday, I tried to work on updating my resume but I got nowhere. I tried to make a slide presentation of my CV, ended up nowhere and now.. here.

As I tried to sum up my so-called life, I ended up digging my old journals. I found myself wondering what I wrote when my father died 7 years ago. In verbatim, (I wrote in print) here's my journal entry on March 26, 2005:

18:03

EASTER '05

032605

PAPA JOINED GOD FOR EASTER LUNCH. HE COULDN'T WAIT FOR ME ANY LONGER. LAST NIGHT THOUGH, AROUND MIDNIGHT, WE PRAYED TOGETHER FOR GOD'S WILL...

            I LOVE PAPA SO MUCH & I KNOW HE KNOWS THAT. I DO NOT RESENT HIM & I AM SO PROUD TO BE HIS DAUGHTER. I'M JUST SORRY I WASN'T ABLE TO HELP HIM GET WHAT HE REALLY DESERVED.

            WELL, MATERIALLY THAT IS IMMATERIAL.

            WHAT'S IMPORTANT NOW IS PAPA SURRENDERED EVERYTHING TO GOD BY MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT. HE TRIED HIS BEST TO WAIT FOR ME BUT HIS PHYSICAL BODY, HIS MATERIAL BODY, COULDN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE.
 

          PAPA WAS AT PEACE. HE HAS FORGIVEN HIMSELF THROUGH CHRIST'S LOVING MERCY. HE HAS FORGIVEN US, HIS CHILDREN, FOR THE TIMES WE SEEMED NOT TO LISTEN TO HIM.
 

          AND ALL HE HAS FOR EACH & ONE OF US IS HIS GRATITUDE FOR THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR HIM, EVEN IF WE DIDN'T ALWAYS SHOW IT IN THE RIGHT WAY...
 

          PAPA JOINED THE ULTIMATE ARCHITECT FOR EASTER LUNCH. I GUESS WE SHOULD TAKE THAT AS GOD'S MESSAGE OF THE TIMING HE HAS FOR ALL OF US.
 

          WE USED TO SPEND EASTER SUNDAYS ON AN EGG-HUNT IN JULIANA 1. THERE WERE "KULANJING" EGGS WHICH CAME WITH THE PRICE OF THE EGG ITSELF WHILE THERE WERE MONEY EGGS WHICH WERE PRICED FROM P10 TO P50 YATA YUN.
 

          I HAD MY SHARE OF THE KULANJING EGG 'COZ I SAW IT WHEN IT WAS BEING HID UNDER THE BIG CASSEROLE. I GOT IT & ATE IT TO MY DELIGHT, HOWEVER DISMAYED I GOT. WHAT A PRICE TO PAY FOR CHEATING, HEHE.
 

          WE CANNOT CHEAT GOD THOUGH. OFTENTIMES WE THINK THE TRUTH IS STARING US IN THE FACE & WE THINK THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO SEE. YET, THERE IS MORE TO THAT THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE, SO TO SPEAK.
 

          PAPA WAS ALWAYS THERE. ALWAYS BUSY. ALWAYS WITH HIS V5 PEN ON HIS HAND, WRITING ADVOCACIES, REVISING THEM, FINALIZING THEM, ONLY TO REVISE AGAIN.
 

          I REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN AS A YOUNG GIRL I WOULD PAINSTAKINGLY (ALTHOUGH I ENJOYED THEM, TOO) RE-TYPE HIS PAPERS.
 

          PAPA HAS A LOT OF PAPERS. NOT A TON BUT THEY'RE REALLY A LOT.
 

          I AM PROUD OF PAPA.
 

          SOMEHOW, IT WAS GOD'S PLAN FOR HIM. OF COURSE, IT IS GOD'S SCHEDULE FOR PAPA ON EASTER LUNCH OF 2005.
 

          MATERIAL THINGS, MATERIAL POSSESSIONS, ARE IMMATERIAL.
 

          WAS HE A HAPPY MAN?
 

          HE WAS HAPPY.
 

          WE LIFTED UP EVERYTHING TO GOD ON MIDNIGHT OF MARCH 26...WE PRAYED TOGETHER... I WAS ASKING PAPA TO WAIT FOR ME BUT SOMEHOW THE WORDS JUST CAME TUMBLING OUT, UTTERING WHAT WE BOTH HAD IN OUR HEARTS: YOUR WILL BE DONE, LORD. YOUR WILL BE DONE.
 

          PAPA LOVED EACH & EVERYONE OF US.
 

          MATERIAL THINGS ARE IMMATERIAL.
 

          AND PAPA'S ACCOLADES, THOSE TROPHIES, THOSE RECOGNITION PLAQUES, THOSE AWARDS...ARE JUST MEMENTOS OF HIS LEGACY IN THE WORLD OF PHILIPPINE ARCHITECTURE. NOT WANTING MUCH OF THE LIMELIGHT BUT HE ALWAYS WANTED THINGS TO BE RIGHT, ALMOST PERFECT.
 

          HE ACCOMPLISHED THINGS AT THE BACKROOM. & GOD KNEW HIS HEART.
 

          SI KELLOG ANG DRAFTSMAN, SI GOD ANG ARKITEKTONG TOTOO.
 

          SI KELLOG ANG DAHILAN KUNG BAKIT GANITO AKO NGAYON, TUMATATAG, TUMITIBAY.
 

          BECAUSE THE ULTIMATE ARCHITECT INSTRUCTED THE DRAFTSMAN TO DO THINGS THE WAY HE WANT THEM TO. & THE DRAFTSMAN OBLIGED.
 

          HE POURED OUT A LOT OF LOVE FOR ALL OF US.
 

          PAPA, I LOVE YOU. & I MISS YOU NOW. BUT SOMEHOW, WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN ON AN EASTER LUNCH ON GOD'S APPOINTED TIME. & WE WILL NEVER PART WAYS AGAIN.
 

          FOR NOW, GODSPEED YOU HOME PAPA.

Y,

anne

My father lived a full life. He had three wives and 12 children. He was a man of integrity. He was an intelligent man with an opinion on everything. He lulled me to sleep with songs many of which, I found out later on, were hymnals..

"By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return," God told Adam in Genesis 3:19. On my Papa's wake, nothing mattered. Not even the academic medal that was around his neck. He was dead and I can never make up for the lost times I should've spent with him.

Yet do I wallow in defeat, in self-condemnation, in regret? I used to. But now, no more. We all die sooner or later. My father knew that. And he knew better than argue with God until the last minute. So one week before that fateful Easter in 2005, Papa declared, "Surrender na ako... kay Jesus Christ." And that, for me, is his legacy. That, for me, is the reason why I am blogging today.

I don't want to wait until I am 83 before I surrender to the Lordship of Christ in my life. Papa was born a Protestant, he died a Christian. On his death, his religion didn't matter but all that mattered, at least to me, is the fact that he surrendered his life to Jesus Christ and accepted Him as Lord and Savior. That, at both the very least and the very most, gives me an assurance that I will meet Papa again someday. I may not have enjoyed much time with Papa when he was here, we may not have had a lot of things in common but the one fact, the one truth, we have in common is everything that matters to me today: Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. - 1 Thessalonians 4:1

Material things are immaterial.