150 days..

CORE-RELATE!

It's officially Day 1 of my 150-day "authorized" absence (forced-to-leave?) from work. It's not exactly "WOW, have a great time, enjoy, have fun!" because it is unpaid vacation. Ok, I'm SUSPENDED. This is the maximum penalty for the maximum offense I've committed last November and December 2006, having incurred way too much than the allowed minutes for tardiness each month.

I've been away from home since last May 15, going through my 30th birthday last 17th as if I was The Gringe of birthdays. Hehe. It's quite ironic that just two days after my spiritual retreat (and baptism!) in Caliraya, Laguna I succumbed to anger and pride. I bolted out of the house Tuesday morning way before the sun woke up (while I haven't slept a wink), after a heavy drama akin to "The Exorcist" with my siblings and my mother.

A few minutes before 6am, I ended up in a twin-sharing room of a 4-star motorists' hotel that billed me P525 in advance for a stay of 3-5 hours. (For 12 hours, their room rate was P1,300 which I couldn't afford to pay right up). I figured, well, I can check out at 11am and proceed to report for work earlier. Good thing luggage safekeeping was free-of-charge so I made an arrangement with the front desk that I'll avail of that service.

I had quite a good sleep in spite of the circumstances. (I'm really not used to sleeping in places other than my own bed). After clocking out from work I had a therapeutic helping of Ice Monster with Chief at BlueWave just to pass the time. I was really thankful for her company. Her mere presence was comforting enough.

When we parted ways, I proceeded to a 24-hour drugstore for toiletries then went back to the hotel to check in for the dorm-type room. I shared the room with two other ladies and I occupied the lower bunk of the middle double-decker. God really has a perfect timing for everything because by the time I woke up, it was already a Wednesday, my day-off from work. I had more than enough time to do my laundry at Chief's apartment, find a place to stay and do some shopping for bed essentials. I found a bedspace facility for only P1,200 but I had to provide my own mattress. There were little creepers all over the room and a Mr. Little but I got it anyway because I knew I'll be back home in no time. I just needed some space away to let the heat die down and make my siblings mull things over. I'm just not good in explaining myself and I really believed that because God knows our hearts, He will eventually humble us and lead our ways towards reconciliation.

Anyway, as I've said it's only Day 1 of my 150-day suspension. But it feels as if I've been on vacation for the longest time I've known. When I went home the other day to get some stuff (particularly my mobile phone's charger), I realized I missed my cat Majzhai so much. He missed me, too because he kept on brushing himself against my legs. Funny because I hurriedly stuffed some additional clothes into my bag; I didn't want to see any of my siblings just yet. But now that I write about it, perhaps I'll be taxi-ing my way back home soon. I have a responsibility to them as my "bunsos" and I don't think I'm being a good witness of Christ by invoking my "rights" or holding on to my pride. Someone's got to step down and I know it has to be me. I've consulted my Christian friends about it and I've inferred that although there is wisdom in just letting time take its course, there is more to be gained in humility.

I've been praying for countless times for God's healing. I've had some scars on my arms, bruises on my shoulders but they are nothing compared to the pain our domestic drama has carved on my heart. In time, we will reunite. I know, I have faith, by God's loving mercy and grace, we will be a family again.

In the mean time, I have to find myself a part-time job.