not my way... :)

From Wikipedia... on freedom being "Inner Autonomy":

"Freedom can also signify inner autonomy, or mastery over one's inner condition. This has several possible significances:^[1]

• the ability to act in accordance with the dictates of reason;
• the ability to act in accordance with one's own true self or values;
• the ability to act in accordance with universal values (such as the True and the Good); and
• the ability to act independently of both the dictates of reason and the urges of desires, i.e. arbitrarily (autonomously).

"Especially spiritually-oriented philosophers have considered freedom to be a positive achievement of human will rather than an inherent state granted at birth. Rudolf Steiner developed a philosophy of freedom based upon the development of situationally-sensitive ethical intuitions: "acting in freedom is acting out of a pure love of the deed as one intuits the moral concept implicit in the deed".^[2] Similarly, E. F. Schumacher held that freedom is an inner condition, and that a human being cannot "have" freedom, but "can make it his aim to become free".^[3] In this sense, freedom may also encompass the peaceful acceptance of reality. The theological question of freedom generally focuses on reconciling the experience or reality of inner freedom with the omnipotence of the divine..."

I've taken a leap of faith and I must say, I've never felt more free. I've surrendered my life to God and really, I've submitted my resignation from the casino as the first major step to making myself fully available to follow His will for my life and be prepared for the bountiful blessings He has in store for me.

God has taught me that His blessings are not always in the form of financial stability or His "YES" answers to my prayers. He has actually shown me that I am more often than not blessed whenever I willfully accept His "NO," "Wait" or "Wait Some More" answers and obey His leading even when I do not entirely understand His exact reasons or know His exact purpose.

I'm looking to the horizon, all geared up and ready to run and press on for the next hundred or even thousand miles with one goal, and that is: to echo at my earthly life's "finish line" what Paul has said in 2 Timothy 4:7>"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

I'm done doing things "my" way. Whatever is His way, that's the way I intend to go... for the rest of my life in this world; "in it, but not of it.."

"ALL GAMBLING IS GAMBLING."

INSIDE-OUT MENTALITY

True conversion begins in the heart. Like a domino, the conversion will trickle down to all the veins, permeating the bloodstream and ultimately transforming one's personality, attitude and behavior to something that is contagiously cheerful, positive and loving.

The genuine Christian's light shines from within. It radiates in such a manner that people who come into contact with him or her will feel the lifting of a burden, see the silver lining behind clouds of doubt or simply just be thankful for the life that they have been given.

God is strong enough, pure enough, brave enough to let us start over again each time we commit a mistake. He knows everything and expects us to stumble from time to time but as He loves us, He has given us Jesus Christ to cleanse us of ALL sin. No more murky or naughty pasts to speak of, no more inclination to sin but only self-control and discipline rooted in reverence to God and love for Him.

We may have toed the line or even crossed over the borders for far too many times in the past, but -- again -- what matters most is what we are in Christ NOW. What, as Christians, are we doing with our lives right at this very moment? Are the thoughts in our minds glorifying to Him? Will we be able to say, if God were to come tonight, in full confidence and conviction, "Father, I have waited so long for You!" If, by tomorrow, somebody checks up on our life's fingerprints, will the Investigator see our prints scattered all over things that we never shouldn't have held in the first place?

Our God is a God of second chances but that doesn't mean we have the 'license' to sin. What we have, rather, is the license to perfection. Yes, no human being is perfect. But as we consistently walk with our Dad daily, He shows us things we can improve on, positive and life-changing ideas we can put into action and people we can learn from and be accountable to.

Being a Christian is impossible for those who rely on outside forces to change them. But for those who, in the inner corners of their hearts can say that" without Christ, I AM NOTHING," living the difficult Christian lifestyle is a joyful adventure.

I couldn't be more thankful for what God has been teaching me these past months. And it reinforces the idea that, indeed, there is nothing else to look forward to except the FULFILLMENT of His wonderful plan for my life.

Whether or not marriage is in the picture, I know -- I am CONVINCED -- that the marriage that each and everyone of us should really look forward to is our eternal marriage, our rock-solid relationship, with our Maker Who has always been patient and loving towards us. He has lavished His mercy on us with His Son's blood on the Cross and is continuously on the lookout for those of His creations who are on the seemingly endless cycle of falling and rising up again.

I am missing someone as I'm writing this. It is a wonder that I don't know EXACTLY who he is and it is my prayer that God keeps him -- and myself -- centered only on God's will, safe and secure and humble enough to listen and just abide in love. For God's eternal glory.
 
"It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy." --Romans 9:16